Body language
by velocity58
Summary: Jimmy and his friends wake up one morning to find that they've switched bodies with four devils. As they try and adapt to their new powers, they come to realize that the devils watching them aren't the only people they should be afraid of. Will they die? Read and find out.
1. The Old Switcheroo

**The following takes place after Season 2 of the anime, but before season 3.**

Issei

The first thing I saw when I woke up was the sky in an alley way and the smiling face of Azael. He was standing over me smiling pleasantly. He was wearing his usual outfit, a trench coat and slacks. He must have used some sort of demon magic because I hadn't been in the alley before I fell asleep. Also I didn't feel like myself for some reason.

"Good morning, Issei." Azael said "and how are you feeling?"

I tried to get up, but I felt… heavier for some reason. "Azael?" I asked. "What…"

"Are you doing here?" He finished for me. "Essentially, you're here because of a project I'm working on, and I do apologize for the inconvenience, but this requires your help."

I scowled at him as I tried to get up again… no effect. "What do you want?"

"You see, I was walking along the streets of New Rome, a city on the planet Myria, a planet known only to the big three and its inhabitants who are all monsters. It was when I reached an area where I found four beings who didn't seem to get along with each other. So I decided to teach them a lesson… of my own design of course."

"Wait, so what does that have to do with me?" I asked.

Azael pulled out a mirror and presented it to me. "Take a look."

I looked into the mirror and saw my face… no, not my face. Someone else's.

The face I saw was a man's of about nineteen. His features were masculine, but not buff. He was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a shirt with the album cover of Dark Side of the Moon on it.

"W-wait… why…"

"Are you like this?" Azael finished again. "Well you and your friends, Asia, Kiba, and Konoko, were needed for this project. Your bodies have been swapped with theirs, but other than that you're completely fine. Anyway, I should be going. I have a meeting with some of my lieutenants in an hour. So best wishes, and good luck."

Azael spread his wings. Row after row of black, feathered wings reached out from his back as he took off.

"One more thing." He said before he got out of hearing distance. "You may want to check their IDs for their information."

With that, he took off into the sky.

I grunted as I sat up. I was still heavy, but I didn't know why. Maybe this guy loved bling that much.

"Issei?" Came a voice to my left. I looked in that direction to see three other people sitting on the ground.

One was a muscular man with short, blonde hair and wearing nice jeans with a collared shirt. He would have looked completely normal if it wasn't for his arms. His arms were made of some sort of metal and had joints here and there. His expression was blank.

The man next to him was looking at me, concerned. He had the build of an assassin and dressed like it too. He had a buzz cut and looked very pale with fleshed out cheeks.

Finally there was a woman who had an innocent look, but dressed opposite of her personality. She was wearing a leather jacket with a grey and red tank-top and black jeans with combat boots. Her hair was black, long, and had a red streak on the left side of her hair. Also her boobies! OH MY GOD! They weren't as big as Rias's, but OH MAN!

"Issei, it's us." The woman said. "We're your friends."

I stood up and looked at the woman with curiosity. It couldn't be. "Asia?"

The woman smiled brightly and stood up. "Issei!" She cried as she hugged me.

"Well at least we know who you two are now." The assassin said as he and the cyborg stood up. "To avoid complications, I'm Kiba. I guess this makes the cyborg Konoko."

I looked at Konoko a little confused. I looked over his… er, her body as she looked at me with a blank expression.

"You're a guy…" I said with a smile. "Ha! That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!"

Konoko looked at me for a second. "Suck it." She said in her new, masculine voice. I knew she was pissed, but the sound of her voice just made me laugh even harder. I think I even saw Kiba crack a smile.

"So if we're in these bodies…" Asia started. "Who are in ours?"

We stopped laughing. I thought about it for a minute then remembered what Azael told me. I reached into my back pocket and took out the man's wallet. I opened it to find a debit card, three pieces of blue paper that looked like some kind of currency, some cards, the number of some woman (which I was totally jealous about), and his driver's license. I looked next to the picture to find his name.

James McClure.

X

Jimmy

I yawned as I woke up.

It was the weirdest thing, Joanna, Kyle, Neil, and I were just walking down the street while Joanna and I were arguing about which one of us would win in a fight when suddenly we blacked out and here I am.

Given that, I decided to ignore this and put the thought out of my head.

As I stood up and got out of bed, I felt like something was wrong. I didn't know what it was, but I just knew it. That's when I got an itch on my head, so I scratched my long, weirdly shaggy hair. My hair felt shaggier than usual, which was weird.

I was hungry, so I decided to grab some breakfast. I walked out the door and I passed a girl along the way. She had black hair, a cute smile, and gigantic boobs, which would have caught my attention if not for the fact I was so sleepy.

"Morning Issei." She said as she waved to me.

"Hm." I said back.

Seriously, something about today felt very wrong.

I made it to the kitchen and reached the pantry, but noticed a mirror beside the fridge. I looked into the reflection and was horrified. No wonder my hair was so fluffy, it was in a ponytail!

Must have been Ginger pulling a prank or something.

I untied the tie and let my hair hang, but it still felt long. I shrugged and grabbed some cereal and milk.

I sat at the table and poured both into the bowl. What was it about today that felt so off?

I raised the spoon to my mouth and was about to take a bite… then it hit me.

I looked at my hands. I looked at my hair again. I was too shocked to do anything, so I just did what I always do in these situations. I screamed.

X

Kyle

I heard a shrill scream coming from behind me. I woke from my sleep and sat up on the couch I was on.

"What? Who's there?" I shouted. "Who screamed?"

"AHH!" Said the same voice as I turned to see him. The boy was average height wearing nothing but boxer shorts for some reason. I didn't recognize him, so I did the obvious.

"AHH!" I shouted in a weirdly shrill voice as I pointed at him.

"AHH!"

"AHH!"

"AHH!" We said at the same time.

"Who are you?" The boy asked.

"Who am I? Who are you?" I asked. "You knocked me out and dragged me here, didn't you!"

"Hell no!" The boy said defensively. "You knocked me out and brought me here! I didn't even know women did stuff like that!"

I looked at him, confused. "Wait, woman? What are you talking about? I'm…"

That's when I looked down at myself, and I freaked out. I was short, my hair was white, I was only about four foot six or something, and yeah… I was a woman!

"HOLY CRAP!" I shouted. "How did this happen? I was a cyborg a minute ago, and now I'm…"

"Wait…" The boy said, cutting me off. "Kyle?"

My eyes widened.

"How do you know my name?"

"Kyle, it's me. Jimmy."

"Jimmy?" I asked, jumping over the couch and walking over to him. "Oh my god! What happened? Why are we… this?"

"I'm just as confused as you are." Jimmy said, walking up to me. "Also, ha! You're a little girl."

I made an angry face. "Don't remind me." I grumbled.

Jimmy pinched my cheek. "Daw, you do the cutest girly-wirly things, you girly-girly-girl."

"Glad to see you two getting along." Came a voice to my right.

Jimmy and I looked to see a gorgeous woman with fiery red hair with nothing on but a towel wrapped around her.

I'll admit, I've never seen anything like this in real life, so I was a little flustered.

"Oh, well… um…" I said, blushing hard, "yeah, we were just talking about… cats. Right, buddy?"

I looked up at Jimmy, who's mouth was agape as he stared at the girl. He looked kind of ridiculous, to be honest.

"Dude? Dude!" I shouted as I stomped his foot.

Immediately, Jimmy screamed and grabbed his foot.

"Agh! Yeah, of course. We were talking about boobs. I mean cats! I mean tits! I mean funbags! I mean…"

The girl laughed. "It's cool Issei. I gotta get dressed. I'll see you two later."

She walked back upstairs as we watched her leave.

"Issei…" I said. "That must be this guy's name."

I looked back at Jimmy, who was still looking at the stairs.

"Jimmy? Jimmy?" I clapped my hands in front of his face and shouted, "HO!" He snapped out of it.

"Huh? What? Oh yeah! That um… that's whatever you just said." He said, obviously distracted.

Just then, I heard a bang from upstairs. Jimmy and I looked up at the ceiling in time to hear a light, but angry voice.

"Will you guys SHUT UP? I'm trying to sleep!" The voice said.

Jimmy and I exchanged glances.

"You don't think…" I started.

Jimmy and I raced upstairs toward the noise's origin.

Jimmy

I knocked on the door that was supposed to be directly above where we just were.

"Joanna?" I called. "Is that you in there?"

"For God's sake!" The same voice called out as I heard footsteps coming closer to the door. "Can't I get five minutes without someone breathing down my god damned neck?"

The door flung open. Instead of Joanna, there was a short girl of about fifteen with blonde hair and green eyes wearing a green nightgown. From the look on her face, she was furious, but that passed when she looked at us.

"Who the hell are you two?" Joanna asked.

I tried my best not to laugh at her, but that didn't stop a few chuckles getting out.

Joanna scowled at me. "What's so funny?" She asked.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Joanna, it's us. Jimmy and Kyle."

Joanna looked at us, confused. "Wait, seriously? Which one of you's the girl?"

"That'd be Kyle." I said as I burst out laughing. Joanna joined in on the fun as she laughed too. Kyle, meanwhile, looked as though he was ready to strangle me.

"S-so?" Kyle said, angrily. "You've gone through some changes too."

Joanna stopped laughing. "What? Did I turn into a guy?"

"Well… no, but-" I said.

"Good." Joanna interrupted. "Let me just check this new body out. As long as I'm not some small, blonde kid or something this won't be so bad."

Joanna walked into the bathroom across the hall and shut the door. There were a few moments of silence before we heard Joanna screaming in fear.


	2. BOOST!

**Hey! Guess who's back!**

**Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I've been dealing with some issues, but I've got some spare time and I'm ready to roll! Also, something else I should mention if I haven't mentioned it before: I am going off what the anime has covered with some references to the manga here and there. If I get the actual lore wrong, please forgive me.**

Jimmy

Joanna, Kyle, and I entered the Occult Research Club's building. It had been an hour since we had gotten our new bodies, and already things are going to shit.

For starters, when Kyle opened the front door to the house we were in, it broke off its hinges. Apparently that was his power, but Joanna and I still didn't know ours. To make matters worse, I kept feeling this painful pulse in my left hand.

We entered the room and sat down. The room was decorated with nice furniture that you might see if you visit the Biltmore Estate along with red and black wallpaper. A mahogany desk was at the center back of the room with the crimson beauty herself sitting at it staring us down. We were also greeted by a big-breasted woman with a devilish smile and long, black hair and another one with a more serious expression with green and blue hair carrying a large sword on her back. The atmosphere was dark, of course, and the only piece of white in the room was a shower on the left side of the room. Wait, what? Why was there a shower in the room? And why was it out in the open like that? That makes no sense.

Before I could criticize it any more, Rias stood up and addressed us (I learned her name on the way here).

"Welcome everyone. It's good to see all of you once again." Rias said with a smile. "Unfortunately, Azazel couldn't be with us today because of some business he had to attend. Today will be a fairly slow day as far as they go, so each of us are going to be assigned a specific pact. Akeno here will provide the addresses."

The woman with black hair took out sheets of paper and handed them to us. I read my address: 42 Tomoki St. Apt B.

"I expect each of you to have at least one pact by the end of the night. Especially you, Issei."

I looked at her as she said what I assumed was my new name.

"Huh?" I responded. "Oh, yeah. Of course. So how exactly do I get a…"

Joanna elbowed me. It had just occurred to me that we still had no idea how long these people have been in service to this woman. A year? A lifetime? There was no way to tell.

"N-never mind." I finished.

Rias smiled. "Right, well we all should go to our assigned destinations. Are there any questions?"

"Why is there a shower in the lounge?" I blurted out.

Everybody looked at me.

"I mean don't get me wrong you're a smart person and you've probably got your reasons, but you couldn't have gotten a um… girl's locker room or something?" Nobody spoke. If anything, Rias was actually shocked by this.

I held my hands up, defensively. "I'm just sayi'n."

Rias looked at me for another moment, and then shook her head. "Anyway, if that is all… I'll see you all later."

I pocketed the address and turned toward the door when…

"Oh, Issei, Konoko, Asia." Rias said as Kyle opened the door. We turned to look at her. "I need the three of you to fetch Kiba from the attic. He's been acting strange lately. See if he's okay then give him his address."

Akeno handed me another piece of paper. I took it and nodded at Rias.

"Sure thing." The three of us walked upstairs.

X

We pulled down a letch on the ceiling and climbed up to the attic. When we reached the room, my head was instantly met with the ceiling. I rubbed it to soothe the bump.

The whole place was dark… very dark. I actually had to squint to see a little bit clearly. There were boxes and artifacts both demonic and angelic piled up here and there along with a figure sitting in the darkness. It took a while to determine what he looked like. He was a handsome figure dressed in a black and red school uniform with blonde hair. His eyes were closed and his expression was calm. There was a black sword hanging from his belt.

I walked up to the figure slowly.

"Kiba?" I called. "Are, um… you Kiba?"

No response. I looked from him to Joanna and Kyle, who were back at the entrance. Kyle motioned me to keep talking. I looked back at the figure.

"Neil? It's me, Jimmy." I said. "Is that you."

The figure was quiet for a moment, breathing calmly. Then he spoke.

"When I fought James McClure in the hospital the first time we met… what technique did I use to paralyze him?"

I smiled. "The Atomic Fist."

The figure slowly stood up until his head was inches from the low ceiling. He turned his head toward me, showing his sky-blue eyes.

"It's good to see you, my friend."

X

We closed the attic entrance after Neil and I climbed back down. We said our greetings and then got down to business.

"So what's going on?" I asked. "Why are we… this?" I gestured to myself.

"It's simple." Neil said. "We are the prime subjects of what is known as a 'body-swap.' I've seen this before. Usually the effects are temporary, but sometimes it can be… permanent."

"Permanent?" Kyle blurted out. "I don't want this to be permanent. I can't be a girl for the rest of my life! I'm not even comfortable going to the bathroom in this body!"

Joanna turned to Kyle. "Wait, you haven't gone to the bathroom yet?"

"I've never gone as a girl before. What if I mess up?"

I sighed. "Okay… dude? Go to the bathroom." I turned to Neil. "Anyway, what if these other devils could help us? Maybe we can reason with them."

"I believe that would be an extremely bad idea." Neil said almost instantly. "Devil houses are bound like a family. If we reveal ourselves, we could end up starting a turf war, destroying the house from the inside out, or worse."

"So we're on our own?" Joanna asked. "Great."

"We can figure this out later." I said. "Right now we need to get something called a pact before tomorrow."

"Ah, yes. I was wondering when we'd start with that." Neil said. "You don't have to steal their souls if that's what you're wondering."

Kyle and I exhaled in relief.

"To get a pact, you must complete a task a mortal gives you… no matter what it may be." Neil looked at Joanna, who had a nervous look in her eyes. "After which, you collect a token from them and part. It can be anything from a coin to a car."

"Sweet. We'll just use our wings to fly there and…"

"Actually Jimmy," Neil interrupted. "If you take flight now you'll draw attention to yourself from unsuspecting humans, which could have heavy consequences on the devil house. And assuming you can't use a summoning circle nor own a car judging by your age, there's only one way you can arrive at your destination."

X

I struggled as I peddled Issei's bike up the hill.

"Can't believe I have to travel like this." I complained to myself. "Could have cut this travel time in half, but _nooo._ Stupid Neil. Stupid Rias for making me do this… god she's hot though. If she wasn't underage, I'd motorboat the shit out of those tits. And I'm totally talking about this out loud, aren't I?"

I finally reached the apartment building. I parked the bike and walked up to the apartment.

"Is it weird to fantasize about a teenager?" I asked myself. "I'm sure everyone does it… or do they? Who cares, she's the exception."

I knocked on the door of the apartment. In a few seconds, a scrawny nerdish man with long, brown hair and glasses opened the door.

"Congratulations, my good man." I said with the biggest fake smile I could muster. "I am the devil you summoned and…"

The man slammed the door in my face. My smile faded and I knocked again. He answered.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I'm the… devil you summoned." I said.

"You don't look like a devil."

"Well too bad. This is what we look like."

"Really? They all look like scrawny white kids?"

"This body's a loaner… look, I'll prove it." I said. "Just ask me any devil related question."

"Okay… what is Lucifer's real name?"

I thought for a second, but got nothing. "Okay, give me another one."

"Who is Grayfia?"

"Who?"

"How many devil houses are remaining?"

"I know there's one…"

"Who is Azazel?"

"Lucifer's wife?"

"Goodbye."

The nerd went to shut the door, but I stopped him.

"Okay, fine." I said. "You want proof? Here you go."

I spread my devil wings, which made him jump a little. It felt weird having wings. It felt like having extra limbs attached to my back like arms, or legs even. Now I knew how Kasi felt.

"Okay… come in." The man said as I put away my wings.

The inside of his apartment was the usual nerd-fest. Posters of anime girls, sci-fi stuff here and there, and even a picture of his head taped to the body of Chris Pratt from Guardians of the Galaxy. One other thing that caught my attention was a poster that looked like a rip off of Dragon Ball Z… it looked terrible.

"Wow." I said, weirded out.

"Yeah, my pad's pretty chill yo." He said although I really wish he didn't.

"Anyway, what do you need?" I asked.

"Well… I was hoping that the devil I summoned would be a succubus so we could have a romantic night together."

I sighed heavily and pinched the middle of my eyebrows. "Seriously? You'd damn your soul for that?"

"Yeah, well… I'm not exactly good with… the ladies, so this is my one chance to get some. But you're a guy and… doing… that with you would be as awkward as Lea kissing Luke."

"Um… what?"

"You know… Star Wars?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What the hell's Star Wars?"

The man's eyes widened. "You've never heard of Star Wars?"

I was taken aback by this. "Um… should I?"

The man ran to a shelf and took out six discs. He slammed them on the table.

"Well my friend, it looks like I have to educate you."

I gulped.

X

I rode my bike down the darkened street. I can't believe I actually sat through 14 hours of sci-fi stuff… and liked it. I mean the prequels were crap, but I actually enjoyed myself. If I was stuck as a devil forever, this may not be so bad.

"In five hundred feet, turn left." Said my new GPS.

I was able to convince the man to give me a GPS as his pact. He didn't have one, so he just gave me his smartphone. He was so pissed.

"Okay, just fifteen more minutes and I'll be back in no time."

Just then, something strange happened. Out of nowhere, what looked like a glowing, blue spear stuck into the ground ten feet in front of me.

"What the?"

Before I could finish my thought, an explosion of pure light exploded from the spear, sending me flying backward onto the street. When the light faded, I stood up, grunting. As I got to my feet, I saw the remains of my new smartphone scattered across the street.

"OH COME ON!" I shouted.

"Oh don't feel bad." Came a voice above me. "That was an outdated version anyway."

I looked up to see two unusual figures hovering over me. One was a woman about my height with black, braided hair and wearing a long, red dress (also huge tits!). The other figure was a slim man wearing a suit and tie. His blonde hair was slicked back like an 80's businessman. Both of them looked human enough except for one thing… large, black angelic wings sprouting from their backs. These were most likely the fallen angels I've heard about in my history books back in Myria.

"So tell me, what's a devil lowlife doing in a place like this?" The male asked.

"Plowing your mother." I said with cockiness in my voice.

"My mother's dead."

"And your point is?"

The fallen one frowned. "It is unwise to insult us, shrimp."

"Hey, this body's a loner." I said. "And who're you calling shrimp, shrimp?"

The man's eyes flared with holy energy. The woman held a hand out, stopping him.

"Now now." She said in a calm, but angered tone. "Our master wants him alive, remember? Besides, this whelp is hardly worth the effort."

"Hey! Don't talk down to me!" I shouted up at her. "At least I'm not an angelic reject, you bitch!"

The woman was silent for a moment.

"You know what?" She asked, removing her hand. "Forget what I said before. Kill him."

"With pleasure." The fallen one said, conjuring a large spear of light.

I grinned. "Okay, let's see what this devil can do."

I put up my fists and activated my powers. Instantly, a red and white gauntlet appeared on my hands. The red one's jewel glowed green for a second.

"BOOST!" The gauntlet shouted.

Nothing happened. I looked down at the gauntlet and frowned, a little scared.

"Wait, that's it?" I asked.

The fallen one threw the light spear at me at what seemed like lightning speed. I managed to dodge the weapon just in time as it stuck to the ground. Thank god Neil taught me martial arts, or I'd be dead right about now.

The woman decided to join in on the fight as she conjured two more red light spears and threw them at me. I was able to dodge one of them, but the last was aimed straight at my head. I managed to grab the light spear with ease. It's weird… these things were supposed to sting devils, but I felt nothing. Weird.

"BOOST!"

I threw the spear back at her, but she was able to disperse it in time.

The man charged me with a conjured light sword. When he was in range, he took a swing at me, but I was able to dodge in time. I was even able to grab his tie and swing myself onto his back. Once I was on there, I used the sharp fingers from my gauntlet to stab him through the back of his neck (why not, right?). The man screamed in pain as he shook me off. I spread my wings to stabilize myself, but I'd never flown before. I was able to stabilize myself, but I fell flat on my face.

"BOOST!"

"Stop saying that!" I shouted at the gauntlet.

"Enough of this!" The man shouted as he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the pain. "We'll take him together!"

"Fine by me." The second fallen angel said, conjuring a light spear.

The two of them dove from the sky and flew toward me with surprising speed. They pointed their tips at me as they flew. I stood up and readied myself for their attack. Once they were in range, I grabbed both of their spears in my hands. The force of their flapping wings pushed me back a few feet, making my sneakers scrape across the ground. I struggled to keep them back, but I didn't know how much more I had in me. Why did this guy have to be so weak?

"BOOST!"

I grunted as I began pushing back. I took a few steps forward, actually pushing the fallen ones back! I pushed with all my strength and managed to throw them off of me. They fell onto the ground about ten feet from me with a crash!

I was about to run when something hit me. I looked at the gauntlets and the green light glowing on the red gauntlet.

"Wait." I said to myself. "Is this… making me stronger?"

The green light flashed again.

"BOOST! EXPLOSION!"

The gauntlet pulsed with energy, and this time I felt it. A wave of energy coursing through me, making me feel… outstanding! There was no other word to describe it that I could think of. My normal powers gave me strength and regeneration, but this… this was something else completely!

I looked at the fallen ones as they stood up and looked at me.

"We can't let him boost again." The woman said.

"Right." Said the man conjuring another light spear. "One dead devil coming up!"

He flew toward me, but this time I was ready for him. I balled my right hand into a fist and as soon as he was in range, I punched him square in his face. The force if the impact felt like nothing to me, but the fallen one shot through the sky and hit the ground, making a mark where he landed. It looked painful.

"Come on!" I taunted. "Is that the best you can do?"

"BOOST!"

The woman snarled as she conjured two light spears. She grunted as she threw them at me. I managed to evade one of them, but the other one flew by the red gauntlet, scraping it slightly.

I held the gauntlet out toward her. "Come on! Doesn't this thing have a gun or something?"

As I said that, a little, red ball appeared in my left hand. It wasn't much, but it was something. I readied the ball to throw.

"Eat this!" I shouted at the woman, who conjured another light sword and flew straight at me.

I threw the ball of energy at her, but instead of being thrown like an ordinary ball, when I threw the ball, a gigantic beam of energy shot out from the ball, enveloping the woman.

I couldn't make out much in the energy beam, but I could hear the woman's scream of pain. When the beam receded, she was gone along with part of a house. Thank god nobody was home.

"LYRASIL!" The man shouted. He looked at me with anger in his eyes. "That's it! Now you're dead!" The man shouted at the top of his lungs as a light spear the size of a parson formed in his hands. Almost immediately, it grew double its size. No, triple! He hurled the weapon at me with all his might. There was no way I could dodge this thing. I braced myself for the impact and as it came close, I caught the spear. I grunted as I struggled to keep this massive object at bay. Also, yes. This time it burned.

I could actually feel the radiant energy from this thing on my face and arms. I grunted in agony.

"I don't care if my master wants you alive, now you're DEAD!" The man shouted as he conjured another light spear. This time I was helpless to dodge this one. He readied his throw to strike my head, but something strange happened as he did. A yellow blur passed over my head, drawing my attention. It was Neil!

Neil leapt onto the light spear I was holding (which did not help at all) and jumped toward the fallen angel directly in front of it. As he was in mid-air, somehow he was able to conjure two swords from small, red runes. The fallen angel threw his spear at Neil, but he parried it with his right sword. The other sword on the other hand had another intended target. His heart, which is exactly where it landed.

The fallen one coughed up blood as it soared to the ground, dead. As he was falling, Neil spread his wings and landed in front of the fallen one with ease.

Once the fallen one was dead, the light spear vanished into thin air. I let out a sigh of relief as I relaxed.

"Neil!" I shouted to him. "How did you find me?"

Neil turned to look at me. "You blew up half a house with an energy beam." He said in his usual monotone voice. "I knew that was either the work of you or Joanna."

I chuckled and scratched the back of my head guiltily.

"You're lucky I came in time, or you'd be ash by now." Neil continued.

"Dude!" I said. "Have you seen what I can do? This demon's power is incredible! And I think this is only the tip of the iceberg."

"Oh really?" Neil asked. "Show me."


	3. WHYYYYY?

Jimmy

Everyone was waiting for me when I got back to the clubhouse. By now Rias and the other devils who weren't switched went home while Neil, Joanna, Kyle, and I stayed to talk a bit.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who had new powers. Like I saw before, Neil could run at incredible speeds and could summon swords from god knows where. Joanna discovered her healing powers when she tried obliterating a guy who tried to grope her earlier (she was SOOOOO pissed about that). And Kyle… was a cat. Yeah, a god damned cat! This was my following reaction:

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit! This is the best day ever!"

Kyle continued to eye me as I laughed wildly. "Y-you know… it's not that funny…"

"Not that funny? You're a little girl _and _a neko! How is that not funny?" I laughed.

"Jimmy, can you please stay focused?" Neil asked, trying to shut me up.

"I'm sorry!" I said, still laughing. "I'm sorry, I…"

I trailed off as I continued to laugh harder. Unfortunately, Joanna who was next to me wasn't exactly as amused as I was and slammed my head on the table as hard as she could. I immediately stopped laughing.

"Thank you." Neil said. "Anyway, by now we all have some idea of what we can do so far. Frankly I believe that this is a good thing considering what happened to Jimmy tonight. If two fallen ones attacked him out in the open, what's to say more won't come?"

"I'd love to see them try." I said. "You should have seen what we did to those other guys. If I was a bit more experienced with these powers, I wouldn't have needed Neil."

"And what about creatures who can decimate cities?" Neil asked.

Silence.

I looked at Neil a little embarrassed. "I… well…"

"Exactly." Neil said. "If one does happen to come our way, I want everyone together so we have a chance of taking him or her down. No exceptions."

"Oh yeah, just what we need to take down a god. A guy with a gauntlet, a swordsman, a white mage, and a cat." Joanna said, sitting back into the couch.

"You know I have super strength, right?" Kyle asked.

"Can you regenerate like Jimmy can?"

"No, but…"

"Then I'm not impressed."

"Yeah, you're like a glorified Neko if anything." I said.

Kyle sighed and slumped into his seat.

"Anyway, it's probably best if we go back to Issei's place." Neil said. "The others will be wondering where we are."

"Issei?" Came a voice from behind us.

We turned around to see a short boy with blonde hair, pointy ears, and a scared expression on his face. He wore a girl's outfit for some reason and he actually looked a lot like one. The only reason I could tell he was a guy was because I've seen my fair share of cross dressers… and felt them. I didn't nail them, but I thought they were chicks until they took off their dresses. That was usually followed by me jumping out the window.

"Um… hey little dude." I knew he was a devil from this house, but I never met him before. I knew this was gonna get awkward.

"H-hey." The boy said. "What's going on?"

Kyle, Joanna, Neil, and I looked at each other.

"Oh, we're just having a… um…" I began.

"A tea party!" Kyle blurted out.

The boy smiled. "Oh, cool! Can I join?"

"Um… no. Actually." I said. "I'd let you, but Neil for got the tea."

Everyone's eyes widened once I said that.

"W-why did you call Kiba Neil?" The boy asked.

"Um… because… that's his nickname." I said. "Yep. Because he didn't bring the tea, but he… Neil-y did it."

Joanna face-palmed. I could tell she was thinking, _he's never gonna buy this._

"Oh." The boy laughed. "I like that. Sorry about the tea."

_Holy shit this kid's gullible._ I thought.

"Ah, it's… it's fine." I said. "Go back to what you were doing, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

The boy frowned. "Tomorrow? I thought you were doing something with Rias."

I stared at him for a minute in semi-shock. Rias? The crimson-haired boob queen? UN REAL!

"Um… of course I am!" I said. "I meant I may have time to see you before or after the date, won't I guys?"

"Probably." Neil said. "I think you'll Neil-y make it."

X

I dug through Issei's drawer looking for a decent pair of clothes to wear. Unfortunately all I found were more school uniforms and some t-shirts with some slogans that no woman would find funny. In fact Joanna saw me with one of those shirts earlier and she kicked me in the balls. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE IT ON!

Sooner or later I began weighing my options between a repetitive eye-sore or something offensive. That's when I heard Akeno knocking on the door.

"Hey Issei." She said with a friendly smile as she came in. "Picking out an outfit?"

"Yeah. Why the hell do I only have two types of clothes?" I asked. "I thought I would have bought more than this."

Akeno sat down on the bed. "Sorry Issei, those are the only clothes I've seen you wear."

"Shit." I said as I stood up. "Guess I'll just buy some new ones then."

I began to walk out when Akeno grabbed my hand. I looked back at her.

"You know… you don't have to go." She said. "You could stay here…" She pulled me to the bed so I sat next to her. "… with me."

My eyes widened. I wanted to say something to calm her down, or maybe something funny and clever to get me out of this, but all I could think of was:

"Uhhhhh…"

"I see the way you look at me." She said. "You know you want me."

_Oh my god, is this happening?_

Akeno took my left hand and rested it on her right boob affectionately.

_Holy shit! This is happening! Why can't these girls be eighteen?_

"Oh Issei." She cried as I squeezed. Not out of lust, out of fear. I was technically being molested by a schoolgirl who I don't know the age of. How would you feel? And I'm talking to those of you who are technically adults, not the teenagers who jack off to this kind of stuff. And to those of you who do jerk off to this… get a girlfriend. Really. Or at least watch actual porn, it's much better than this.

"I… um…" I tried to speak.

Akeno held a finger to my mouth. "Shh. Don't speak."

She closed her eyes and leaned closer to me. I tried to gain some distance, but eventually my inner man gave in. At least I'm not sexing her, right? I leaned in for the kiss when…

"Issei." Rias's voice said as she stood in the door.

I literally fell off the bed as she said that. I noticed her in the doorway wearing her usual outfit, but her menacing look is really what got my attention.

"Oh hi Rias." Akeno said as if nothing happened. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date?"

"I was about to ask Issei the same thing." Rias said in a stern voice.

"Hey! Don't look at me, she seduced me." I said.

If these girls were older and I was in my original body, I'd ask Rias to join us, but I doubt that'd be possible considering…

"We were just having some fun." Akeno said. "You didn't have to interrupt it like that."

"Let me remind you that he is dating me today. You should not have done that Akeno!"

Just then I saw Joanna walking by with a glass of water.

"Oh hey, two girls arguing. You don't see that everyday." She said sarcastically as she passed by.

"You're just jealous because I get to suck on his dragon and you can't." Akeno said as she winked.

"I can suck his dragon much better than you can!"

"We're talking about my sacred gear, right?" I asked.

Rias grabbed my arm. "We'll settle this later. Right now Issei and I have a date to get to."

Rias pulled me out of the room. My god was she strong.

"Agh!" I cried out as she pulled me. "Okay, I'm going! Can we at least stop at a Kohl's on the way, or something?"

X

We stopped at the clothing store in the mall we went too after Rias teleported us into a secluded area. The store looked like… well… a store you might find in japan. So Hello Kitty, Dragonball, and Pokemon galore. Personally I've never actually visited Japan unless you count that one time I went to that school for monsters with that bipolar vampire and her gang of misfit monsters (she can pack a hell of a punch by the way). The store was a bit weird to me, but that didn't stop me from getting a kick ass shirt.

I immediately went for the Dragonball Z section and picked out a shirt with Goku on it doing a Kamehameha. I bought it and put it on in the store. I walked back to Rias.

"So? What do you think?" I asked her.

At first she was a little shocked, but after a second, she giggled.

"It's so ironic that you're wearing that shirt." She laughed.

I frowned. "What, what's wrong with it?"

Rias waved off the subject. "Nothing. Come on, I wanna go to the Victoria's Secret store downstairs. I wanna buy some clothes there and I need a second pair of eyes."

Aaaaaaanndd boner.

X

Neil

_It was foolish to let Jimmy go out alone with Rias._ I thought as I meditated on the roof of the Occult Research Club.

I knew it was dangerous to let him go alone and I let him stray too far off. Then again, this is Jimmy we're talking about. He's gotten himself out of worse jams, but what bothered me were his new powers. He wasn't invincible anymore, that's for sure, and yet he was able to obliterate a fallen one in a single attack.

_What kind of a devil was Issei anyway? _I thought. _And how can I counter it if things go south?_

I heard the roof door open as what sounded like the footsteps of Xenovia came walking out of the door and toward me.

"Kiba? We need to talk." She said in a stern voice, much like my own.

"Of course." I said, still meditating. "What's on your mind?"

Xenovia stopped next to me as she looked at me from above.

"I just want to let you know that whatever you and your friends are planning better not affect any of this devil house in any way." She said.

"Excuse me?" I asked without looking at her and keeping my eyes shut.

"I know your secret. You're not really Kiba."

I was quiet for a moment. Not out of fear mind you, but I was trying to comprehend how she could have deduced this information so quickly.

"Really?" I asked in a calm tone. "Why do you think that?"

"For starters, Kiba doesn't meditate or talk in monotone."

"This could be a new lifestyle I've chosen." I said. "Maybe I prefer this because it's relaxing."

"Konoko has been acting more like a girl than usual lately."

"Doesn't mean she's different. Maybe something's been spooking her. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"Asia's acting more aggressive than she should."

"Well maybe she decided to grow a pair."

Xenovia looked at me in stunned silence.

"I know how that came out, but you now what I mean. Any more clues you'd like to share, detective?"

Xenovia smirked. "Just one. I've known Issei Hyudo for about a year now and that's more than enough time for me to study what he does when and where he does it. I've also noticed that since he received his boosted gear, his left hand became his dominant hand, but now just out of the blue he uses his right. Explain that."

I honestly didn't know what to say. This was the first time anyone has ever successfully called me out on something like this. Granted I wouldn't have made such a menial mistake myself, but from Jimmy I could understand and forgive.

I stood up and faced her. "Well done."


	4. The Pretender

Neil

Xenovia was drawn aback.

"So it's true. You… you're not really Kiba."

"No." I said looking at her, reading the fear in her eyes. I had to talk her down carefully. "My real name is Neil. My colleagues and I woke up in your friends' bodies the night before and have no way of returning to our original forms. Although I'm assuming you don't trust me, I would appreciate your cooperation. I have no intentions of harming your friends."

At first it seemed as if my speech worked, but a moment later, Xenovia summoned her sword and pointed it at my throat.

"You're lying!" She shouted. "You're working with Vali, aren't you?"

I was surprised that didn't work. I had to try another tactic.

"Very well, go ahead and kill me." I said. "But if you do, not only will you me ending my life, but Kiba's life as well. Because of this body swap, our souls are connected to one-another. I do not wish for there to be harm done to either one of us, but if it comes to that, he will die by your hand."

Naturally, I had no idea what would happen if I died, but she had to take my bluff. She had to.

Thankfully, it worked. Xenovia lowered her sword from my neck. But a moment later, she scowled at me. That's when I felt it: a drop of sweat trickling down my forehead. Xenovia grunted as she swung her sword at me. She had called my bluff.

I quickly conjured a sturdy sword in time to parry the blow, but the magical energy within the blade exploded out like a grenade and knocked me off the roof.

I quickly conjured another sword and used its special properties to extend it so that it hit the ground just as I was about to hit it. I felt the jolt of the force of my fall, but that was about it. I retracted the blade, making me reach the ground unharmed.

Xenovia jumped from the roof and landed in front of the Occult Research Club building.

I sighed. "I didn't want it to come to this, but you leave me with no choice." I conjured two crimson red and black swords in each of my hands. My preferred weapons of choice. "If you won't calm down… I'll make you."

X

Jimmy

I can't remember the last time I was legit brain-dead from seeing so much cleavage. I managed to stumble out of the mall with Rias tailing behind wearing… I don't know, something… fashion. She's hot. Make something up. THAT'S HOW BRAIN-DEAD I AM!

Rias turned to me and smiled. "You know… I had a lot of fun today, Issei."

I smiled weakly at her and wiped at my bleeding nose with another tissue. So many trees died to prevent my nosebleed.

"Y-yeah. Same here." I said, finally straightening myself out. Now normally, I would say something witty and clever to her, making her laugh. Then we go back to my place for a few hours in the sack. However, she is completely out of my range for reasons I cannot control! I can't believe I'm dating the hottest woman I've ever seen in one hundred and fifty years, and I can't even bone her!

Rias hugged me, stopping me in my tracks. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted more out of this date. Unfortunately, I couldn't allow that. Luckily I knew the ultimate way to disarm a woman.

I hugged her back and said, "I'm so glad we're friends."

Rias was shocked for a moment. She let out a sigh of disappointment as she continued to hug me.

I'm surprised she took it so well. Usually when I did that, I'd either get bitch slapped, punched, stabbed, whacked by a purse, stepped on, in some cases impaled, or any combination of the six. Frankly I was so glad this was behind me for now.

That's when she kissed me.

When she pulled back, I was so startled I thought my eyes were gonna jump out of my eyes.

Rias smiled at me. "Do friends ever do that?"

I screamed internally. I don't know if this was either out of excitement or fear, but I knew what was coming and I didn't think Rias would allow me to stop her. Until this happened.

"Well isn't this a surprise." A voice from behind us said.

We turned around to see a man with jet-black hair wearing ninja armor flying down from a yellow cloud.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I believe we have some unfinished business." The man said, taking out a red and gold staff. "We meet again… Issei Hyudo."

"Yes we do… um… you." I said awkwardly.

The man's smile faded. "Wait, you don't remember me?

"Um… should I?" I asked. "Who are you… again?"

Rias gave me a confused look. "Issei, how can you forget him? That's Son Goku."

I was taken aback by this. "Wait, what? The Son Goku? You look nothing like him!"

Goku looked at me, confused. "How so?"

I gestured from him to my shirt and then back to him.

Goku rolled his eyes. "That's a fictitious character you idiot. I'm the real deal."

I chuckled. "I'm sorry, but unless you can shoot kamehamehas and go super sayan, you are no Goku."

Goku smirked. "Well I can't do either of those, but have you ever watched Dragonball?"

"I… vaguely remember it." I said.

"Remember the power pole?"

"Yeah, it was Goku's primary weapon, why do you…"

Goku pointed his staff toward me and it seemed to get… longer. Before I knew it, the tip of the pole slammed into me and smacked me into the building behind me.

"Issei!" Rias called out as she saw me hit the wall.

"Do you believe me now?" Goku asked.

"Ugh… so you've got a stick and some yellow cotton candy. That still doesn't make you Goku."

I could tell this got to him a little because he swatted me with the stick, sending me flying into a car nearby. I tried to stand up, but for some reason I couldn't. This body was so weak! If only I had my old body, I could pound this faker into a pancake! Super strength and near invulnerability would come in handy right about now.

"I'd love to stick around and wholop you more, but I've got orders from my boss." The faker said.

Rias turned to him with glowing red hands. "Damn you!" She shouted as she let lose a gigantic fire blast (see, why couldn't I have gotten that power? That would have been so badass!).

The faker dodged the fire bolt and extended his staff. Rias tried to dodge it, but the staff hit her in the center of her forehead. Rias fell to the ground, unconscious.

I activated my gauntlet, making it appear on my hand.

"BOOST!"

The faker flew down and scooped up Rias's body. "Although I'd love to kill you right about now, I wish to end this without further bloodshed. If you want your president back, you will meet my team and I in Saint Mary's Cathedral in Tokyo within twenty-four hours, or she will die. Come alone and if anyone follows you, we'll kill her and them."

"BOOST! EXPLOSION!"

I finally had the strength to stand up as I pointed the gauntlet at the faker and fired the deadly beam of energy at him. After the beam dispersed, he and Rias were gone.

X

This was not gonna be fun. I continued to fly back toward the academy as I thought of what I was going to say to everyone else. Frankly I didn't care anymore about the humans who might see me. I just did not care.

So what was I supposed to say? "Hey guys. Sorry I let Rias get kidnapped by some Goku wannabe. Won't happen again?" I totally could have taken him if I was just a bit more prepared.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. YOU COULDN'T BEAT GOKU EVEN IF YOU WERE PREPARED.

I stopped in mid-air. "What the?" I summoned the gauntlet. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

I AM NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, JAMES MCCLURE. I AM YOUR OTHER HALF.

I looked at the red gauntlet as its' green lights flashed when it spoke… wait, what?

"Y-you're the gauntlet?" I asked.

I AM KNOWN AS THE RED DRAGON EMPEROR, DDRAIG. I HAVE BEEN INBEWED INSIDE ISSEI'S BODY FOR OVER A YEAR NOW AND NOW I AM PART OF YOU, JAMES.

"Well that explains my craving for sheep. Wait, how do you know my name? Can you read my mind or something?"

YES. I KNOW YOUR NAME, YOUR PAST, AND YOUR POTENTIAL WHEN IT COMES TO COMBAT. YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE IN BATTLE LEAGUES ABOVE ISSEI AND I HAVE TO ADMIT… I'M IMPRESSED.

"Ah, well… you know." I said, flattered. It wasn't everyday that a dragon lord complimented me. Especially since I nearly killed a dragon about a year and a half ago.

BUT I DID NOT REVEAL MYSELF TO COMPLIMENT YOU; I NEED TO WARN YOU ABOUT WHO YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO UP AGAINST.

"And who would that be?"

THEY ARE KNOWN AS THE KHAOS BERGADE, A TEAM OF RENEGADES WHO WISH TO BRING CHAOS AND DISTRUCTION UPON THE REALMS.

"Okay, so I go get some back up, go in there and kick their asses. So what?"

I KNOW HOW COCKY YOU ARE, BUT I MUST WARN YOU ABOUT THEIR LEADER KNOWN AS THE WHITE DRAGON EMPEROR, ALBION, ALTHOUGH HIS MORTAL NAME IS VALI. HE IS THE LEADER OF THE KHAOS BERGADE AND THE WEILDER OF A POWER OPOSITE OF MINE. IF YOU FIGHT HIM IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU WILL NOT WIN AGAINST HIM.

"So give me full mastery of the power so I can save Rias."

I CANNOT.

"Why the hell not?"

IF I WERE TO GIVE YOU MASTERY OF THE POWER, WHAT'S TO STOP YOU FROM COMING BACK AND EXPLOIDING THE CURRENT WIELDER'S WEAK POINTS?

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you're refusing to give me the power just to save your dam skin?" I shouted.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND. WE DRAGONS HAVE A CODE OF SECRECY. IF WE WERE TO GIVE IT AWAY…

I looked down from where I was. I didn't notice before, but I was flying very high up. Maybe… a thousand… two thousand feet?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

"Oh nothing."

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. DON'T TRY IT.

"Sure, but um… you'll have to teach me how to use this thing."

I TOLD YOU, I…

I retracted my wings and began falling.


	5. Let Me Explain

Jimmy

I could feel the wind hitting my face as I careened toward the ground at the speed of gravity.

YOU FOOL! IF WE HIT THE GROUND YOU'LL ONLY BE KILLING YOURSELF!

"And Issei along with me, severing your connection with him." I shouted back. "Now tell me how this works!"

NO.

I looked down as I spread my arms and legs, making sure to hold the gauntlet between the ground and myself.

"Oh hey, we're getting pretty close to the ground." I said. "And is that a flagpole? I'm thinking impalement."

Ddraig sighed.

VERY WELL. I WILL TECH YOU TO USE THE BOOSTED GEAR.

I spread my wings, as I was about to hit the flagpole. I landed just on top of it, perching like a bird.

"There. Was that so hard?" I asked with a cocky smile.

I CAN TELL YOU ARE GOING TO GET UNDER MY SKIN.

"You mean 'under your scales?'"

Ddraig was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

ANYWAY, I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT ISSEI CURRENTLY KNOWS AS WELL AS SOME OF HIS DEVIL ABILITIES.

I knew this wasn't going to be very much most likely, but I felt like this was as close as I was gonna get to full power.

"As long as I know more than I already know, I'll be fine."

VERY WELL. BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE RED DRAGON EMPEROR!

The gauntlet's gems glowed green as I felt a wave of warmth wash over me. In that moment, I could feel the knowledge of Issei in my mind.

"Holy crap!" I shouted. "This is amazing! I know all these skills! The Dragon Sword, absorbing shit... Dress Break?"

YES, IT'S ISSEI'S SIGNATURE ABILITY. IT RIPS THE CLOTHES OFF OF ANY WOMAN HE TOUCHES.

"Jesus Christ! That sounds like boarder-line rape!"

DON'T REMIND ME. TO BE FAIR THOUGH, HE JUST LIKES TO LOOK AT THEM, NOT ACTUALLY… WELL YOU KNOW.

I spread my wings and flew away toward the school.

"I'm starting to think this guy's got issues."

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

X

I had about twenty-three and a half hours before I had to face the faker again. I knew Neil and the others would have my back, but it'll take some talking to have the other devils help out. Maybe mentioning that their leader got kidnapped would help. Then again, devils are known to be deceitful. Then again, all the devils I've fought turned out to be douches. Then again, I've never really "met" a devil before aside from a one-night stand. I'm starting to think I'm a bit racist towards devils.

As soon as I arrived at the Occult Research Club building, I was greeted with a gigantic sword shooting up from the ground, almost hitting a battle-worn Xenovia. On my left, I saw Neil with two swords drawn. He was in better condition than Xenovia, but it was clear that he was running out of energy.

Xenovia struck the giant sword with hers and the summoned blade shattered into a million pieces. She used the force of her swing to hurl herself at Neil, who parried just in time.

"Kiba." I called. "KIBA!"

Neil didn't respond. I guess he was too busy with Xenovia to notice. I summoned my gauntlet and boosted a few times to charge some energy. As soon as I did, I unleashed a gigantic wave of energy, which went right in between them. That definitely caught their attention.

"Kiba, what the hell's going on?" I asked.

Xenovia pointed her sword at me. "I figured you out. What have you done with Issei?"

My eyes widened. "Um… what? Noooooo. No, I'm Issei. Don't worry about it."

"Don't even bother Jimmy. She already knows the truth." Neil said.

I sighed. "God damnit. Who gave it away? Joanna? Kyle?"

"Actually you did."

"Me? What did I do? I was out almost the whole time!"

"It doesn't matter!" Xenovia shouted. "You have infiltrated the House of Rias Gremory, and for that you must…"

Just then the window opened revealing the blonde head of Joanna wearing a nightgown.

"Hey! Shut the hell up!" She shouted. "I'm trying to get some sleep you god damned… wait, are you fighting? ARE YOU FIGHTING WITHOUT ME?"

"We've been found out Joanna." Neil said. "Jimmy blew our cover."

"Oh my god I totally didn't!" I shouted.

"Are you fighting the knight?" Joanna shouted. "Because I've wanted to plant a boot up her ass since day one."

"What did I ever do to you?" Xenovia asked.

"Bitch you should know by now. You snore… SOOO loudly." Joanna said.

"I don't snore." Xenovia said. "Do I?"

"Yeah… I didn't want to say anything, but you really do." I said. "I sleep three rooms down and I can still hear you."

Joanna jumped out of the window and flew down to the ground.

"I don't care if my snore is louder than an air horn…"

"Which it is." I said.

"… I must protect Rias Gremory and her household."

"Well you're doing a great job doing that considering she's just been kidnapped." I blurted out.

"What?" Xenovia shouted as she turned to me.

At that moment, Akeno, Kyle, and Gasper appeared beside us after traveling through a rune transporter.

"What's with the commotion?" Akeno asked.

"Rias has been kidnapped and Issei, Konoko, Kiba, and Asia are traitors!" Xenovia shouted.

"What?" Akeno shouted, surprised. She turned to Kyle. "Konoko, is this true?"

Kyle cleared his throat and took a step away from Akeno.

"Akeno, we're not traitors, okay?" I said. "And before you ask we didn't kidnap Rias."

"Well then what are you?"

"It's um… a bit complicated." I said. "Let me explain."

X

Rias

I woke up in a daze. The last thing I could remember was… Goku… and Issei trying to protect me. I guess he wasn't strong enough.

"Oh, you're finally awake." A voice said.

I looked up to see a young man walking toward me. He had light brown skin with spiky brown hair and a few scars on his face including one over his eye. He was wearing a black kimono with golden orbs of some kind wrapping around his waist. He dressed more like a woman than anything.

Next to him was a slim man with a holy sword in his hand. Arthur Pendragon. And next to him was Loki God of mischief.

"What the? Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Kuroka, and I'm a lieutenant of the Chaos Brigade nya." The man said while winking and making a cat-like paw motion with his hand.

I looked at the man confused. "Wait, Kuroka? Konoko's sister? Why are you…"

Kuroka's smile immediately faded as she grunted. "We were fighting some arch angels when some shape shifter got in the way. Thanks to Loki, I'm trapped in his body and vice-versa."

"She's so mad she can't even talk like she normally does." Loki said with a snicker.

Kuroka gave him a look.

"Not to be rude, but can we please move this along?" Arthur asked. "I have somewhere to be and Goku is getting restless."

"He'll have action soon enough, don't worry." Kuroka said. She turned back to me. "By the way, don't worry about your bonds. That rune underneath you will restrain you from using any magical ability."

I almost didn't notice, but there was a large, pink rune underneath me, which both restrained me and kept me from using my crimson fire. I was helpless.

"You're making a huge mistake." I said trying to sound threatening. "Any minute now Issei will come here and kick your ass!"

Kuroka smirked. "I doubt it. You're just the bait of a trap I've set for the Red Dragon Emperor. The minute he comes here he'll be surrounded and my master will get what he wants. I doubt he'll even get past the front line."

I knew she wasn't bluffing. I could sense the energy of dozens upon dozens of Mages surrounding the cathedral including a large barrier around the building. It might as well be my brother's palace it was so fortified.

"Issei…"

X

Jimmy

"And that's the whole thing." I finished as I took a seat in the couch in the Occult Building's lounge.

I could tell that this baffled Akeno, Xenovia, and Gasper. I don't blame them, we've been in some similar situations before and some of us (mostly Kyle and me) had the exact same reaction.

"So… wait, you four are from the future?" Akeno asked.

"Yup." I said with a smile. "And may I remind you that we are not the ones who switched out ourselves with your friends."

"Then who did this?" Akeno asked.

"Truth be told, we really don't know." I said, shrugging. "One minute we were walking through the street when we all blacked out. When we woke up we had these bodies."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I believe we have a more pressing matter to attend to." Neil said, standing up. "This so-called 'Chaos Brigade' took Rias as a prisoner to lure out Jimmy to get Issei's sacred gear."

"Wait, how do you know they're doing that?" Xenovia asked.

"Because that's exactly what I would do." Neil retorted. "And no doubt this cathedral is swarming with all sorts of who knows what."

"So we're walking into a trap?" I asked.

"Yes, but we have…" Neil pointed to me.

"Um… twenty hours." I said.

"… to prepare a plan and train for the upcoming fight."

Neil stood up and started for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Xenovia asked.

"I'm going to find this cathedral and do some recon. It never hurts to know who or what you're up against."

"Well you're wasting your time." Xenovia said, walking up to Neil who stopped in front of the door. "They can sense energy from up to a mile away. Even now I can sense you teeming with dark energy."

Neil raised an eyebrow as he held out his hand. Suddenly a ghostly blue sword appeared in his hand.

"How about now?"

Xenovia looked at Neil for a second, but soon her normal look was replaced by one of astonishment. "N-no. How did you…"

"From what I can gather, Kiba has the 'Sacred Gear' known as Sword Birth." Neil said as the sword vanished. "It is a rare gift that some receive by either birth or… other means. Usually the owner finds that it is simply a way to summon swords at will that can do what you want, but I found a different use for this power. An all-purpose tool. With this I can create a sword that can have any effect I want no matter how ridiculous."

That's when I had a thought. "So… a sword that automatically carves the Zorro symbol while singing 'Fly Me to the Moon?'"

Neil snapped his fingers and a sword appeared in the middle of the room. It began to play the exact song I recommended as it drew the Zorro symbol in the ground. After that it vanished.

Kyle, Joanna, and I applauded.

"Very nice." Joanna said.

Neil turned back to Xenovia. "Given the circumstances, hiding my aura shouldn't be a problem. I'll be in and out in no time."

Akeno smiled. "Well I'm glad one of you is thinking on your toes."

"Hey!" I said. "I'm… thinking."

Neil opened the door. "I'll be back."

Neil exited the building.


	6. Neil's Master Plan

Jimmy

Twenty-one hours. That was all the time we had to prepare for our assault on the cathedral. The others were in the yard training, but I on the other hand, needed some… alone time with Ddraig. I just put that image into your head didn't I? You bizarre, dirty boy you.

Ddraig recently taught me how to absorb items into Issei's sacred gear (and frankly I thought it was the best thing ever), so I decided to absorb some useful items: some swords Neil conjured, a shield, an iPhone, a flashlight, some napkins, a pencil, some sunglasses… I carried away towards the end. But I did end up getting some cool upgrades to the Boosted Gear.

After about an hour of doing this, I decided to test out some of the new features. And who better to help me test them than the lightning queen herself.

In my experience, the only way to figure out your powers is in actual combat. Unfortunately, I didn't' count on how powerful Akeno would be. I got me ass handed to me in the first five minutes, but on the bright side I figured out how to fully use my powers. Also I figured out how many times I can boost before it puts a strain on my body (about twenty).

After a few hours, I heard the door to the lounge close. I looked behind me to see Neil walking in.

"Oh hey!" I said, walking toward him. "How was it? Did you get in okay?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle." He said. "Where is everyone?"

X

Neil had finished putting the finishing touches on his map of the Cathedral. He's no artist, but to me it looked like legit blueprints.

"Okay, I've had enough time to gather enough Intel to determine who will be where and when." Neil said. "The building seems to be surrounded with a thick barrier of some kind. However, I can get past this with ease, so you don't have to worry. The average henchman seems to be a group called, 'Mages,' who are humans…"

"Who use magic and despise devils." Xenovia finished. "I know. We've fought them before."

Neil gave her an appreciative nod. "Anyway, they will be posted here… here… and here." He pointed at the outside of the barrier, the inside, and in the citadel itself. "The ones on the outside will be acting as police officers and turning mortals away if they get too close. The ones on the inside will be acting as surveillance. There are two hundred in total including their leaders."

"Who do we have to worry about?" Joanna asked.

"A neko, Son Goku, Arthur Pendragon, and Loki, the god of mischief. Don't worry though, he doesn't know if he wants to join or not yet, so he won't attack us, but if he does, kill him."

I could tell by the look in Akeno's eyes that she was scared. She didn't express it, but I knew that look from some of my less-emotional victims. This wasn't going to be easy.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"There are a series of catacombs running through the underground, which should bypass the barrier. Jimmy, Xenovia, and I will sneak through there while the rest of you will be outside distracting their forces. If it gets too hot, retreat, but make sure to keep them off of us."

"Wait, just the four of us?" Akeno asked. "Are you crazy? I think we'd be better off attacking from the front."

"If we do that, it will be suicide." Neil said. "I've seen their numbers. You haven't."

"Then we could just let you sneak in, and we could be standing by."

"I may be good, but I don't trust myself in there with two hundred spell casters and a few gods. If the three of us go in there alone we'll be killed. If you want us to get your leader back, we do this my way. Got it?"

Akeno looked at Neil for what seemed like a full minute, but she finally gave in.

"Fine." She sighed. "But if anyone dies, I'm blaming you."

"If all goes according to plan, we won't." Neil continued. "If things to get hairy, Jimmy will come out and place a portal rune here where the barrier is the weakest." He pointed to a room resembling the priest's office. "The portal will summon everyone to that exact location."

"What about the people outside? Won't they sense us and attack?" Xenovia asked.

"Not if the barrier is reversed." Neil said with an eyebrow raised.

We looked at each other, confused.

"Wait, can you do that?" I asked.

"Runes are a lot like computer code. If you know what you're doing, you can hack it." He said. "I've seen enough runes in my time to know how to reverse a barrier. Anyway, once we get inside, we'll find Rias in the main hall, grab her, and go. If anyone gets in our way, we kill them. Everybody clear?"

We nodded.

"Good. We move at nightfall."

X

Neil

The life of an assassin can be very… strenuous sometimes. I don't mean the jobs where you have to sneak into a room and kill a man I mean the jobs where you have to sneak into a heavily secured compound and even the slightest miscalculation could cost you the job, your life, your money, or worse.

Usually before these missions I like to clear my mind with meditation for a short while. Like my former master always says: "a clear mind is a better mind."

I was meditating in the attic for a short while when I heard a disturbance outside. It sounded a loud crashing followed by some feminine grunts. I knew those grunts of determination anywhere.

I walked outside where I saw Xenovia standing in the middle of a group of downed trees. She faced one that was still standing and charged at it like a mad woman. She swung her sword at the tree, but instead of cutting it in half, it shattered it into a million pieces. The wood shards scattered into the wind as Xenovia straightened up again. She looked at me as if to say, "What the hell do you want?" I could tell she was still mad at me for betraying her earlier, but my inner perfectionist was calling out to me.

"You missed a spot." I said.

Xenovia put her sword into the ground. "What the hell do you want?"

Told you.

"I heard some noise, so I came to check it out." I said.

Xenovia rolled her eyes. "Well sorry to disappoint you, but it's only me. Goodbye."

She grunted as she picked up her sword and walked over to the next tree.

"Your form is a little off, you know." I said.

"I'm fine." Xenovia said as she dug her sword into another tree. I ducked out of the way of some flying debris.

"I mean it. If you're gonna be fighting with me, you're never going to survive that way."

Xenovia whirled around and shot me a look of death. "I said I'm fine!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Care to prove it?"

I conjured a sword in my hand.

Xenovia looked at me and chuckled. "You barely survived the last time we fought."

"I was going easy on you. Plus I didn't want to kill you either."

"Your mistake." Xenovia said as she swung her sword at me.

I dodged the claymore in an instant as it created a fissure in the ground next to me. I spun around and caught her next attack with my sword. I stuck it in the hilt of her blade and flung it away as I held my blade against her throat.

There was a look of amazement in her eyes as she knew I had beaten her. Seconds later, her sword landed in the ground a few feet from where I stood.

I put away the sword. "Like I said… your form is off."

I walked toward her sword.

"Okay wise guy," Xenovia began. "What am I doing wrong then?"

I picked up the sword from the ground and positioned myself as though I was fighting another foe with the blade. It was actually very light for its size. The blade felt very powerful in my hands, but there was one major problem…

"Hm… it's unbalanced." I said. "The blade anyway."

I walked over to Xenovia and gave her blade back.

"With a blade that light, there is a possibility you could wield something… yes, another blade in your opposite hand to even things out. You need another blade."

Xenovia scowled. "A sword from you? How can I trust you?"

I held out my hand and conjured a new blade. This one was black and yellow with a point to both ends of the hilt. When I gripped it, it felt powerful, like I had the power of a true demon lord in my hands.

"This is the most powerful sword in my arsenal at this point." I said. "Kiba might have used it a lot, but to me it's useless. Take it."

Xenovia's eyes widened. "W-what? You want me to have your most powerful sword?"

"Yes." I said as I held the sword to her. I was giving her the sword in order to help her form and improve her overall striking skills, but when I offered her the weapon, I felt… something else within me. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt as if I was… nervous. The strange part was that I didn't know why I felt this way.

Xenovia grasped the sword and I let go of the hilt. She swung the sword to get a good feel of the weapon, and then swung at the next tree in her path with both swords. The swords connected with the tree and once again, it exploded, but this time, there were no shards… only dust.

Xenovia looked at me and I nodded.

"You're ready."

X

Jimmy

The cathedral was in our sights. From the outside it looked like nothing was happening, but I knew that once we pass that barrier, all hell was gonna break loose.

Neil, Xenovia, and I were in position and awaiting Akeno to begin her attack. We've been preparing for this assault for a while, but now that I knew what we were up against, I was starting to question if the Mages could actually be held off by only four devils. Then again, I've underestimated worse threats. Don't even get me started about that stupid vampire with the killer kicks.

The catacombs Neil was talking about was located in a graveyard just across the street from the barrier. Before we came, Neil conjured us each a small ghostly blade that hid our energy. We could still use our powers, but they couldn't sense our presence.

"Okay, so what exactly do I have to look out for again?" I asked as we neared the opening to the catacombs.

"If all goes according to plan, all we'll be dealing with is about twenty or so Mages, and some of the bosses including that neko woman."

I stopped Neil. "Hey, wait a minute. You mean 'neko man' right?"

"No, she was clearly a woman. Large breasts and everything."

"Okay, that sounds hot and I'll deal with it later, but she was supposed to be swapped with one of the fan's characters. The last chapter set it up and everything!"

"Oh… shoot." Neil said as he scratched his head. "Sorry about that."

"Well what do we do?" I asked.

"I think I have an idea. Maybe we can distract him with something so crazy he'll forget about the whole thing."

"Okay, what were you thinking?"

("PHOENIX TEARS" ARE "PHOENIX DOWNS!")

"Hm?"

"Not bad."

Xenovia looked around, confused. "What are you two babbling about?"

"Oh, it's nothing." I said. "Anyway, let's get it own!"

X

Akeno

I took a deep breath as we walked up to the barrier. Gasper was clutching my arm and shaking.

"W-what's gonna happen, Akeno?" He asked.

"I don't know, Gasper." I said. "But we need to give Neil time."

I spread my wings and took flight. I reached about fifty feet in the air when I spoke.

"Chaos Bergade!" I shouted. "My name is Akeno Himejima, Queen of the House of Gremory! Release Rias Gremory, or we will take her from you!"

At first nothing happened, but after a moment, we began to hear laughter.

"Did you hear that?" A voice asked. "The queen of the house of Gremory is demanding her king back."

"Oh that's a riot." Another voice said.

From the barrier about fifty forms appeared. Each of them were cloaked and hovering on floating, yellow runes. Mages. I could hear Gasper whimper as they appeared.

"What? Only four of you?" The woman in the front asked. "Don't make me laugh, there is no way you can stand against our might."

"We demand our leader back, or else!" I shouted as I transformed into my Priestess form.

"Or else what? You'll fire some lightning at us?" The woman asked. "Please. Our magic is far superior than any devils'. If you want to face us, then so…"

At that moment, a grey blur moved through the air toward the Mage. She froze in place with a look of astonishment in her eyes. In a second, she split in half as she fell fifty feet to the ground in pieces.

I looked back at where the blur came from to find Joanna flying behind me holding a sword that looked like it doubled as a whip. No doubt she got that from Neil.

"I'm sorry, she was so annoying." She said with a smirk on her face. "Every time she spoke, it was like she was saying, 'kill me, Joanna. Please kill me.'"

Another Mage spoke up in anger. "You will pay for that! My magic will tear you apart!"

"If you don't do something fast, I think it'll tear your boobs apart." Joanna said with a cocky smirk. "Is that where you all keep your magic then? No wonder you sluts became Mages."

"THAT'S IT!" The Mage shouted as she fired an energy beam at Joanna. I thought for sure she would die… if not for the second sword she pulled out.

This one deflected the energy bolt into the ground below. The Mage was stunned by this.

"W-what? That was my strongest attack, how did you…"

"You like it?" Joanna asked as she showed off the sword. "Two things you should probably know: you're not as strong as you think you are, and this baby can reflect energy! I dare you to come at me with this thing!"

A sword that could reflect energy? I didn't even think it was possible! I knew these people came from the future, but it was hard to believe something like this could exist!

"Now come on!" She shouted, wielding both swords. "Less talking, more fighting!"

Joanna charged the wall of spell casters.


	7. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!

Neil

By now Akeno and the others were distracting the forces above while Jimmy, Xenovia, and I entered the catacombs. I could tell by the constant tremors that things were starting to heat up, especially considering the swords I gave Joanna and Kyle. I still wasn't entirely sure how many of these I could summon at any given time, but judging by Kiba's sword birth abilities, it was quite a lot.

"Okay, there should be a section up ahead that splits off into three different hallways. I'll take the middle, Jimmy will take the right, and Xenovia you take the left."

Jimmy and Xenovia nodded as we neared the pass. Jimmy split off, but before Xenovia could, I instinctively grabbed her arm. She looked at me as I did out of confusion.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

I honestly didn't know why I did that. It wasn't like me to act this way. My heart pounded as I searched for a right answer, but all I could say was:

"Just… be careful." I said as I let go.

Xenovia gave me a confused look. "Um… okay? You too."

She turned and walked away into her corridor. I shook my head and did the same. What was wrong with me today?

Jimmy

Oh Neil. He never ceases to amaze me with his social awkwardness. He may be an amazing assassin, but his social skills SUUUUCK.

It wasn't long before I reached the end of the corridor. It was a dead end except for a drainage pipe leading up into the building. Only problem was the bars that were over the entrance.

"Oh no, a grate." I said sarcastically. "Gee Jimmy, what're you gonna do about it? I dunno, maybe break it?"

I activated my sacred gear and summoned one of my holy swords. This one was the one my sacred gear originally came with. I slashed the grate and the metal fell to the ground. I moved aside the rest of the metal from the opening and began climbing.

Neil

I continued along the path of the catacombs until I stopped at my designated point. I summoned a fire sword and cut a man-sized hole in the ground followed by a man's corpse. When they fell through I caught the objects and set them aside gently.

I climbed through the hole and into the top half of a coffin. I peaked through the lid and saw three mages standing guard just outside.

I carefully moved the lid aside and summoned another sword. I elongated it and tapped the wall behind me on purpose getting their attention. The mages spun around in time for me to swing the sword and simultaneously lob their heads off. Their corpses crumpled to the ground. I banished the sword and continued into the next room.

Xenovia

The catacomb I walked through led to a door. I took cover against the wall and carefully opened it. There was a set of stairs in front of the door with one mage floating up the flight. I had to take her out, but I had to do it fast.

I opened the door quietly and rushed up the stairs gripping Durandal and swung at the mage just as she turned her head to see me. She fell to the ground in a heap as I continued through the cathedral.

Rias

The sounds of constant explosions filled the main hall. I could sense my house outside, but it wasn't like them to attack like this.

"The barrier seems to be holding, but the devils are obliterating our forces outside." Arthur said. "Maybe we should help?"

Kuroka paced the halls as she turned to Arthur. "In a minute. Where's Loki?"

"He is exploring the cathedral." Arthur said. "Don't worry, he knows what he's doing."

Kuroka smiled. "That is so like him." She turned to Goku. "Goku, guard our guest. Arthur and I are off to go devil-sitting." She turned to leave and Arthur followed. "Don't worry, Rias. We'll be back in ten… no, five minutes max."

She and Arthur left the hall. I knew Akeno and the others were strong, but could they really last against Arthur Pendragon and a full-grown Nekomata? I hoped Akeno had a plan.

Neil

The mage gargled and fell as I took my sword out of his neck. I had made my way to the lower levels. Now I only needed to meet with Xenovia and wait for Jimmy to set up the counter barrier.

Just then I heard some fighting behind another door. I readied my sword and looked at where it was. Just then Xenovia burst out of the door lead by the flying corpse of a mage. I dodged the body as it hit the wall behind me.

"Good to see you're still alive." She said smiling.

"Indeed." I responded. "Now we wait for Jimmy to set up the barrier and…"

Just then, the door Xenovia was in front of slammed shut behind her as well as the others around us. As they did, magical wards appeared on each door, blocking our escape.

Xenovia and I drew our weapons as we saw a figure in white robes descend from the ceiling.

"Surprised to see me?" Loki asked with a cocky smile. "Did you really think those pathetic swords could hide yourself from me?"

"Loki." I said scowling. "I thought you were neutral in all of this."

"Not anymore." He said as he hovered about ten feet from the ground. "You see I need the Chaos Bergade in order for Ragnarok to occur, and in return for my service I will serve them until my dream comes into fruition."

"Well I hate to tell you, but your dream is about to be smashed." Xenovia shouted.

Xenovia was about to charge, but I held out my blade, stopping her.

"Loki." I said. "I know you as one of the prime gods of Asgard. I've met your father in the past and have deep respect for him. If you leave now, I promise you will be unharmed. But if you don't…" I summoned a second blade in my other hand. "… I will be forced to kill you."

Loki laughed. "My father is a fool! He makes deals with devils and angels! We Asgardians must remain independent or our entire lifestyle will become nothing!" Loki's hands began to glow bright blue. "When you see my father in the afterlife, tell him you were the first victim of my eternal wrath!"

I scowled. "You just made a serious mistake." I grabbed Xenovia's shoulder and we vanished.

"What?" Loki shouted as he fired a large energy bolt at us. I managed to pull Xenovia out of the way in time. We were able to remain invisible thanks to my invisibility sword. I'll admit I'm beginning to enjoy having these abilities.

I began surveying the area. The room was a large storage area, but it was too small for Fenrir to fit and his children would have trouble maneuvering through the rubble making them easy targets and I think Loki knew that. It was just him and us.

Jimmy

Okay real talk for a sec. NEVER climb up a pipe. They are VERY slippery and it is absolute hell to keep a grip in. Especially with all the tremors from the fighting. I must have almost died two or three times in this thing. I mean I didn't of course… 'cause then the fan fic would be over, so you know.

I looked up to see the top of the pipe. There was a tiny crack where the lid was slightly open.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Finally!" I said as I climbed up.

I reached the top and with one good push, I shoved the pipe's top off and climbed out, flopping onto the ground and out of breath. Normally in this kind of a situation, I'd be taking a quickie… except for the fact that there were three mages staring me down.

I shot up as I saw them pointing magical bolts of energy at me.

"Perfect." One said. "We've got you right where we want you, red dragon emperor. Put your hands out."

That's when I got an idea. I put my hands out, but as he was about to magically cuff me, I opened my palm.

"DRAGON SHOT!" I shouted as a beam of energy engulfed him.

He fell to the ground as I punched the woman next to me, making her fall down. I summoned my sword and cut the last guy in half. He gargled as he fell to the ground.

I turned to the woman who was about to shoot me with a bolt of energy, but I grabbed her hands and pinned her to the wall.

"We will destroy you all you devil filth!" She shouted at me.

"Whatever you say, babe." I said. "Look me up when you wake up. The name's James McClure."

She looked at me with a look of shock and confusion. "Wait, wha…"

I hit her head against the wall, knocking her out. I positioned her against the pipe so that she wouldn't be seen easily. I really hate hitting women, but a threat's a threat after all.

I opened the door to the main floor. I exited and saw the priest's office close by, but as I walked toward it, I saw in the window of the main hall the body of Rias Gremory.

I stood there in silence looking back and forth between the office and her.

"Neil… boobies… Neil… Boobies… Neil… Boobies." I said over and over. After a while I finally made my decision. I sighed. "Damn my manly parts!"

I charged into the main hall.

I kicked open the door and summoned the dragon sword and my shield as Rias looked up to see me.

"Sup gurl." I said as I winked at her.

"Issei! It's a trap!" She shouted.

I turned around just in time to see the faker himself lunging at me from the ceiling with his red stripper pole in hand. I blocked it in time with my shield, but I slid back a few feet due to the blow.

"Well well well, if it isn't the doppelganger himself." I said with a cocky smile. "How's it been sucking the real Goku's dick?"

"You know, I'm not the original Son Goku." He said. "I am actually his descendant. He died a long time ago."

"Oh my god, no f #$ing shit. You don't think I know the real one's dead? I'm talking about the one from Dragon Ball Z and how you totally stole his look."

"I didn't steal his look!"

"Oh really? Shaggy, black hair, red power pole, yellow nimbus… it's pretty obvious dude."

"But my real name is Bikou."

"So?"

"So I'm different!"

"Isn't that a chinese name for Goku?"

The faker scowled. "I'm going to enjoy killing you."

X

Joanna

I grunted as I pulled my swords out of another mage. What was that? Like… twenty? I don't know, I lost track already.

I looked down at Kyle who was swinging away at some of the other mages coming toward us. Konoko's body was more of a warrior's build, but Kyle insisted he had non-lethal weapons, so Neil made him one that shot sound waves and one that put people to sleep on contact.

As I looked back at the other oncoming mages, I saw a blue bolt of energy rushing toward me. I swung my sword and deflected the bolt as I saw two figures approaching. One was some blond, British guy with a sword and the other was some sort of cat lady.

"Well well, it's about time you arrived." Akeno said with a smile to the cat woman.

"I can see you were expecting us." The cat woman said to Akeno. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business."

The cat woman walked over to Kyle as the battle around us stopped momentarily. She looked down at him as they locked eyes.

"We meet again, my beloved sister."

Kyle looked at her confused. He even made the dumbass mistake of looking behind himself.

"She means you!" I shouted to him.

"O-oh. OH!" Kyle shouted like a dumbass. "Y-yeah! That's me, your sister."

I face-palmed.

The cat woman raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, sister? You're acting very strange."

"Oh, well… you know… battle field and all." Kyle said, scratching his head.

The woman smiled. "Hmph. I never knew you to be so soft. I can fix that you know." She held out her hand. "Join me, and we can be a family again. I can teach you how to be a real Nekomata." She looked up at Akeno. "Let me take this woman out of your hands. She may mean family to you, but I am her true kin. What do you say?"

I gripped my extendable sword. "Hm… let me think about that."

I swiped the sword at her, but before the blade could reach her, the British guy came out of nowhere and cut my blade in half with ease. The blade disintegrated before my eyes.

The cat woman smiled. "Hm. That's what I thought. Arthur, can you take care of that woman?"

"Of course, Kuroka." He said as he lunged at me with all his might.

I parried his first attack, but the magic of his blade was so strong that I was blasted backward and almost hit a tree. I readied my sword. This wasn't going to be easy.


	8. The Ultimate Showdown

Jimmy

Another of the faker's blows bounced off of my shield. I was thankful for the boosted gear, or else I don't think I could have blocked that blow.

BOOST!

I've been holding this guy at bay for about a minute now. All he's done is fly around on his cloud and swinging his staff at me. I block it every time, but in the back of my mind I knew I couldn't hold out forever.

"I have to say, you're stronger than I expected." He said in a taunting way. "But it's hopeless to even attempt to defeat me with the power you have. Without your Balance Breaker, you are doomed."

I had no idea what he was talking about, but he was right. This body was already starting to feel fatigue, but he didn't even look phased.

"Now say goodnight!" He shouted as he leapt from his cloud. He raised his staff, preparing to strike me. "Die!"

BOOST!

Yes! Perfect timing! I raised the gauntlet up to the faker to use my favorite move Issei had.

"SUCK IT!" I shouted as a gigantic, red energy beam shot from the gauntlet, obliterating the wall and ceiling in front of me, as well as anything within the vicinity.

When the beam dispersed, I looked around. I saw a huge, gaping hole in the wall, some rubble, but no faker to be seen. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Missed me." I heard a familiar voice ask.

I summoned a sword to try and strike the faker down, but as I did, I was met with a red pole to my face. I spun backwards as I hit the ground. This would have to be the first time in my life that I've felt actual pain… it sucked.

I stood up and faced the faker, ready for another attack.

X

Neil

Loki blasted another pile of boxes.

"Come out little knights." He taunted. "I promise not to kill you… slowly."

Xenovia and I suck to the edge of the room while he was unleashing the last volley at the crates. I knew this was not going to be easy, taking down a god and all. Luckily I managed to improve my cloaking sword. This time he couldn't sense us.

"Any ideas?" Xenovia whispered.

"Yes." I whispered back. "He may be powerful, but his pride is his weakness. I'll distract him while you come up behind him and secure the finishing blow."

Xenovia nodded and we split up. She went to the left and I went right at Loki.

I banished my invisibility sword and came at him with one of my anti-energy swords.

"There you are!" Loki shouted as he unleashed a lightning bolt at me.

I deflected the blast as I summoned an extendable sword. I thrusted it at Loki, but he managed to block it, but that didn't stop me from charging into his barrier, shattering it with my anti-energy sword.

I slashed both swords at him and felt flesh being torn. I heard a cry of pain as I landed on the ground. Loki was grasping his arm, which was gushing blood. It would probably be the first time he's felt the steel of a sword cutting into him and he was not happy about it.

"My arm!" He cried. "You'll pay for that!"

"Funny, I thought gods didn't bleed." I said as I raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that I was hanging around Jimmy too much.

Loki shouted with rage and let lose a massive lightning bolt. I tried to dodge, but the energy was too much. Luckily I managed to block what I could with the anti-energy blade, but the sheer force sent me spiraling into the wall to my right. As I tried to stand up, magical chains prevented me from doing so. I looked up to see Loki pointing a hand toward me.

"Now you die!" He shouted.

Just as he did, I heard a feminine shout coming from behind Loki. He turned around revealing Xenovia lunging at him with her two swords. Loki moved his hand toward her, catapulting me in her direction. She tried to dodge, but I wanted her to stay on track. As soon as I got close to her, I grabbed her by the shoulders and vaulted myself over her as I kicked her in her back, making her fly toward Loki.

Luckily, Xenovia knew what I was doing and pointed her swords at Loki. Unfortunately, he moved away as soon as she struck the wall, causing a thunderous sound to echo through the room and disintegrating the stone.

"You bitch!" Loki shouted as he prepared to strike her down. He outstretched his arm toward her as I conjured a sword in my hand. I hurled it at Loki as he was about to blast her with lightning and it stuck in his hand, making him miss by inches.

Loki cried out in pain as Xenovia took the opportunity to flee before he tried anything else. Unfortunately, she wouldn't make it to me in time. Loki pointed his other hand at her and before either of us could react, she was blasted by a lightning bolt.

Xenovia flew in my direction and I caught her in mid-air as I lunged for her. I landed on the ground as Loki laughed.

"Pathetic!" He shouted. "I don't know how you managed to land two blows on me, but consider this compensation."

I looked down at Xenovia as he continued to laugh. Luckily she was still alive, but she was barely breathing. I gripped her tight in my arms, but… why? Normally when someone I know goes through this I feel nothing, but this… what was this feeling?

I set Xenovia down behind a pile of crates that were untouched by the fighting. I conjured two swords as I prepared to strike.

"I don't care how powerful you are." I said as I grasped my swords. "I'm ending this… now."

X

Jimmy

I steadied myself as the faker struck me again with his magic pole. I couldn't block this attack with my shield this time because of his last barrage. I stumbled over my feet and fell to the ground.

"ISSEI!" Rias called out with fear in her voice.

I managed to look at her once before the faker grabbed me by my coat and hoisted me into the air.

"Hmph. Turns out you weren't much of a challenge after all." He gloated. "I guess all that talk was just that. Talk."

In that moment, I thrusted my sword toward him only for it to be parried a moment later.

"Shit." I cursed before I was tossed to my right.

As I was flying through the air, I felt a sharp pain in my back and then nothing at all. As I hit the ground, I turned to see the faker's red pole in my back. I tried to move my legs with no success.

_Not again…_ I thought at I lay there.

"Please don't hurt him anymore!" Rias shouted as she pulled on her bonds. "I'm begging you, stop!"

The faker turned to Rias. "Why? After all that he's done to me, the insults he's thrashed around at me, why should I give a DAMN about him?"

"'Cause you're… my bitch?" I said, taunting him. He kicked me for that as I laughed.

"Issei, don't provoke him!" Rias shouted.

"That's it, I'm killing you right…"

The faker froze as he stared at me. He scowled as he looked me over.

"What in the…" Was all he had time to say before he was thrown backwards by a tendril of dark energy.

Okay, what? Since when could I do that? Pretty sure red dragons couldn't do that.

The glow enveloped me until it forced me to close my eyes. In that moment, I felt… weird. Like when you have goose bumps, but they're the size of golf balls. As I experienced the sensation, I felt my clothes changing a little… for some reason? That's when I opened my eyes.

I groaned as I stood, greeting a scared, but confused Rias and douchebag.

"Okay, which one of you…" I stopped talking as I realized something was off about me. My voice changed!

I looked myself over from head to toe to discover something really astounding.

"YES! I'M BACK IN MY BODY!" I shouted as I punched the air. I cheered to myself as I danced around in celebration. Yeah… it's not as gay as it sounds.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Shouted a voice, which made me stop dancing.

"I, um… what?" I asked, surprised and confused. "Wait, you're still here?"

YES. Ddraig said. WHEN YOU SWITCHED BODIES, I REMAINED. APPARENTLY MY SOUL WASN'T TRANSFERRED TO ISSEI.

"Wait, what?" Rias asked. "Ddraig, what are you talking about?"

I had no idea how she could hear the dragon in my head, but I wasn't going to question it since my fricki'n body just came back to me.

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER, BUT RIGHT NOW, JIMMY, YOU NEED TO DEFEAT SON GOKU.

"Um… he's not Goku." I responded.

"Yes I am." The faker said, clearly out of his surprised state. "And how did you switch bodies?"

"Your face switched bodies… with your ass!"

SADLY THAT WAS THE BEST ONE UP THERE.

"Shut up Ddraig!"

Just then, the faker swung his red pole at me, which hit me square in my face.

My head spun to my right as I recoiled. I sighed as I turned my head around. The mark on my face healed almost immediately.

"Well monkey, good news." I said as two metallic gauntlets formed around my hands from two metallic bracelets. "You're about to evolve into a corpse."

X

Neil

(Okay, I know I've done this before, but the first person is getting a little awkward to me, so I'm going back to 3rd person. Sorry for the inconvenience…)

Neil had never stood up against a god before, nor had he faced someone with this kind of power before. He had faced countless enemies in the past, but he wasn't so sure he could actually win this time. Luckily for him he had Kiba's body's abilities, but even with that he doubted he could stand up to the Norse god.

(You see how much better that sounds?)

"Well what are you waiting for, little knight?" Loki asked as lightning sparked from his fingertips. "Come at me with everything you've got."

Neil scowled as he readied his weapons. "Gladly."

Neil lunged toward Loki with all his strength. He posed to strike at him, but Loki slapped him out of the way. Neil saw this coming however and grabbed onto Loki's good arm, dropping his sword in the process. Neil used his momentum to flip through the air, landing a kick on Loki's chin as he landed on the ground, unharmed.

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but Neil didn't give him a minute to even breathe. He immediately lunged for the god, dropping his previous sword and conjuring two anti-energy blades in his hands. He managed to catch Loki off-guard and slashed at his neck. Unfortunately, Loki managed to create a barrier at the last second. The anti-energy swords were designed to cut through such defenses, but Loki was a god. Breaking his barriers would not be so easy.

Neil stuck his sword into a few crates next to him, birthing a sword beside Loki's head. The blade barely missed him as he dodged out of the way at the last second, but Neil had planned for that. As Loki dodged, a second sword emerged from the ground and struck Loki, piercing his hip and going through his kidney.

Loki screamed in agony as the blade emerged through the other side of his body. Blood gushed from both wounds like sprinklers of the god's essence.

"ENOUGH!" He shouted as he unleashed a wave of destructive energy, blasting everything around him backwards to the walls. Neil, unfortunately, was caught in the blast and landed next to where Xenovia was lying unconscious.

"I will not stand for this! I am a god! I will not lose to a low-class devil such as you!"

Neil stood up as Loki shouted his words. He managed to conjure one last sword in his left hand. This one was different from the others. It was pale-looking radiating with a yellow mist. The blade itself was of an Arabic design almost like a scimitar, but with some modifications.

Along with this, he noticed Xenovia's sword, Durandal, lying next to him. He picked up the sword with his right hand and gripped it tight. The holy power emanating from the blade was almost overwhelming. He had never held a sword quite like this before. He would have taken a moment to adjust to the divine power, but he didn't think that would be wise since an angry god was staring him down.

"If you're so powerful, why don't you just destroy me?" Neil asked as he activated the power of his new weapon. Suddenly, two more Neils appeared. Then four. Six. Eight. Soon half of the room was filled with Neil duplicates, each with their own swords at the ready.

Loki was taken aback. "What? How are you…"

Loki didn't finish. The Neils charged with everything they had. Loki blasted a group into oblivion with a lightning bolt. Then another, and another. No matter how many groups he demolished, they just kept coming.

"Damn you!" Loki shouted as he let lose more lightning. "Where are you?"

"Here."

And that was it.

Loki felt the cold of steel pass through his neck as quick as a flash, but then it was replaced by a numbing feeling that coursed through his body. As his head left his body, he could see Neil standing before him with a blood-soaked Durandal in hand along with the other Neil copies vanishing into nothingness.

"H-how… how is this… possible?" Loki's head gurgled. "I am… a god. My power… (cough) is infinite."

Neil rolled Loki's head over with his foot so that he could face him.

"It's not always about power, Loki." Neil said. "It's always nice to have, but to truly win battles requires a tool that not even the power of God can match up to... the mind."

Loki gritted his teeth. "Damn you… I will have my revenge… somehow. Mark my words, I will…"

Before he could finish, Neil raised Durandal and brought the tip down on Loki's temple, silencing him for good. Loki's face quivered for a moment and then relaxed.

Neil removed the sword from the fallen god and walked back toward Xenovia. He placed the blade in her hand and was about to pick her up when he heard what sounded like an explosion in another room.

Neil sighed. "Looks like Jimmy was a bit quick to the trigger."

Neil took a tarp from one of the crates and laid it over Xenovia, hiding her from any unseen threats for now.

"Well… it looks like I have to pick up his slack… again."

Neil walked through a door leading to the main hall and headed for the priest's office.


	9. Wrath of Boobzilla!

Joanna staggered as she managed to raise her sword. She had no idea what made Arthur's blade so powerful, but it was not something to screw around with. But even though she was out gunned, out sized and outnumbered, she was not going to back down even if she was in a weaker body.

Just as she was having trouble, Kyle flew through the air and crashed next to her. He quickly stood up and faced Kuroka, who was walking menacingly toward him.

"Any ideas?" Kyle asked Joanna.

"Well… maybe we could switch opponents. Kuroka seems to be magic-based and Arthur seems to be more of a swordsman above anything, so we could…"

KABOOM!

Before Joanna could continue, the upper half of the cathedral wall exploded, raining concrete everywhere along the edges of the church. But Joanna saw something odd coming from the roof. A red speck flying through the air headed straight toward her and Kyle.

They managed to move out of the way just as Son Goku crashed into the ground. After the dust cleared, they could see a figure emerge from the cathedral. A man dressed in jeans and a grey t-shirt with long, brown hair and amber, cat-like eyes. His arms were covered with two, metallic gauntlets that looked as if they were moving piece by piece through the air around him, maybe through magic?

The man stopped about half way between the cathedral and everyone else as he smirked. "I'm back, bitches."

Kyle smiled as he recognized his friend. "Jimmy!"

"What the hell?" Joanna asked in an angry tone. "How come he gets his body back and I don't?"

At that moment, Goku sat up, grunting in anger and pain.

"Okay, you wanna play rough?" He shouted at Jimmy as they both got into an action pose. "Fine, I'll stop playing around. Power pole extend!"

Goku held his power pole out toward Jimmy as it shot toward him like a bullet. It looked like it would hit Jimmy for sure, but Jimmy waved his hand in front of himself and caught the pole before it could hit him.

"Okay, really?" Jimmy asked. "You're totally quoting the anime, dude."

Goku lunged toward Jimmy and delivered a punch aimed for his face. Unfortunately for him, Goku wasn't fast enough. Jimmy caught his strike and a follow-up strike he prepared to deliver.

"How much Dragonball do you watch?" He asked as he struggled to maintain control.

"Did I mention I'm immortal?" Jimmy asked with a cocky smirk.

Jimmy heaved with all his strength and threw Goku into the air. Jimmy jumped with a thunderous "boom" and followed him.

"My my." Akeno said as she flew to the ground as she and everyone else watched the two fight. "He really is a demon after all."

Kuroka turned to Akeno. "Wait, what? That guy's a demon? And what happened to Issei?"

"He _is _Issei." Akeno said. "They changed bodies a few days ago and now it looks like he's back to normal. Although I'm not sure why Jimmy's body is here and not Issei's."

Just then, Goku's body flew into a crypt, shattering the stone and making it scatter like a grenade blast. Jimmy landed nearby shortly after. He walked up to the crypt just as Goku emerged from the rubble. He was bruised, cut up, and his armor was even broken down the middle so that it was hanging by his shoulders.

"Power pole extend!" Goku shouted as his pole extended toward Jimmy. As it did, Jimmy ran toward him, grabbed the pole, broke it in two with his other fist, then plunged the broken off piece through his chest, piercing his heart.

Goku had a look of astonishment as he was impaled by his own weapon. He looked at the wood sticking from his chest in amazement.

"H-how?" He asked as he fell to the ground.

Jimmy turned around as he brushed his hands off. "That's for GT."

"Y-you killed him!" Kuroka shouted at Jimmy.

"Well… yeah." Jimmy said. "This is a battlefield after all."

"You're a monster! He was my friend!" Kuroka shouted. "What has he ever done to you?"

"Pretty sure he tried to cripple me."

"I meant recently!"

"That was a minute and a half ago."

"Whatever." Kuroka said as a purple rune appeared behind her. "You'll pay for his death with your own!"

Blue energy bolts appeared on each edge of the rune as Jimmy prepared to fight, but as soon as they did, a burst of red energy came from the cathedral, temporarily blinding everyone.

Suddenly the light began to spread outward like a bubble inflating.

"What the hell?" Kuroka asked as the light caught her and Arthur. As soon as they were trapped in the light, they found themselves being pushed away from everyone else. They tried to push it back, but it was no use. Eventually they were pushed out of the barrier, leaving Jimmy, the devils, and the remaining mages.

"Well that was weird." Jimmy said as he watched the light.

IT WAS THE COUNTER BARRIER THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE EFFECTS OF THE BARRIER REVERSED THAT NEIL DESIGNED. THE ONE _YOU_ WERE SUPPOSED TO SET UP.

"Oh… whops." Jimmy said, scratching his head.

"W-what just happened?" One of the mages asked. "What happened to Kuroka and Arthur?"

The mages were looking around at the barrier, no doubt trying to figure out what it was for. Some even tried shooting magic bolts at it with no effect. This seemed like the perfect chance to do something…ballsy.

"Joanna, you and the others secure the cathedral, look for Neil and Xenovia, and free Rias." Jimmy said to the others.

"Wait, you haven't freed Rias yet?" Akeno asked with a surprised expression.

"I was getting to it." Jimmy said, waving off the subject.

"But what about the mages?" Gasper asked.

Jimmy looked at him for a moment with an eager smile on his face. His gauntlets rippled with metallic materials as Jimmy looked back at the mages, who were slowly losing their confused state.

Joanna immediately knew what this meant. Once Jimmy set his sights on his prey, rarely anyone could pull him away.

"Come on, let's go." She said as she signaled everyone to go inside.

Akeno was the last one to go. She stared at Jimmy with curiosity.

_Can he really defend himself against fifty mages?_ She thought.

She shook her head and flew into the cathedral. The last thing she could hear from him was what sounded like laughter as he approached the horde of humans.

Jimmy cricked his neck as the mages looked down at him.

"Hello everyone, my name is James McClure, and I will be your entertainment for the evening." Jimmy said playfully. "Now tell me, is everyone good on horderves? Anyone?"

The mages looked at each other in confusion.

"Your jokes will not protect you, monster." The lead mage shouted.

"But you haven't even heard what song I'm going to sing."

"And what's that?"

Jimmy cracked his knuckles and grinned menacingly. "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor."

Jimmy lunged at one of the mages and prepared to strike. The mage put up a barrier, thinking it would protect him, but to his surprise, Jimmy's attack broke through the barrier and punched him in his face, sending him rocketing to the ground. He landed on one of the tombstones on his back, which was obviously broken or more likely torn in half.

"By the way, this may get a little bloody… just sayi'n." Jimmy said as he plunged toward another mage, who was grabbed by the head and had his neck snap like a toothpick by Jimmy's hand.

At this point the mages began shooting everything they had at Jimmy. Jimmy used the fallen mage in his hand as a meat shield, absorbing every blow until he got to the ground. He threw the mage upward, knocking a few mages out of the sky as his gauntlets turned into metallic whips. He lunged into the herd of mages, cutting up anyone who was dumb enough to stand in his way. Unfortunately, that was about ten of them.

As Jimmy fell toward the ground again, he summoned the metal shards from his gauntlets and levitated them in front of him, then in one blast, all of the dozens of shards shot forward like a shotgun, cutting up another fifteen mages.

Jimmy hit the ground as he re-summoned his gauntlets. He struck a pose as the mages began to regroup.

"Bring it on!" He shouted as he returned for another attack.

X

Kuroka watched from outside as more and more of her minions were being slaughtered like pigs. Normally this wouldn't shake her attitude, but the corpse of her best friend upset her greatly.

(For the record, I have no idea if they're friends at all, but it's drama, so go with it.)

"This fight is lost." Arthur said as he unsheathed one of his holy swords. "We need to leave."

"No!" Kuroka shouted as she looked at him. "That demon killed Bikou, and now he's going to pay!"

"Our main objective was to lure the red dragon emperor in with Rias and take his power once we had him. Now he's nowhere to be found. We have to leave."

Kuroka ignored him. She charged as much energy as she could into her hands as a large, purple rune appeared where she touched the barrier.

Arthur knew immediately what she was doing, and he knew he had to stop her.

"What are you doing?" He shouted. "Are you insane?"

"I don't care if the whole world knows we're here!" Kuroka shouted as she pushed more and more energy into the rune. "I want him dead!"

"No! Wait!"

Kuroka shouted as her energy overflowed into the barrier and shattered it like glass.

X

Jimmy shielded his eyes as the barrier shattered inward towards him and the mages. Luckily none of the magical shards hit him. As he looked at the fallen barrier, he could see the remaining mages fleeing for their lives as the nekomata herself fell to the ground, making the ground shake.

Almost instantly, she bolted for Jimmy with a massive energy bolt in her hands. Jimmy managed to dodge her as she rushed him, but as soon as he moved, she threw the energy bolt at Jimmy hitting him in the center of his chest.

The explosion was massive, but Jimmy was able to survive. He flew through the air and managed to find the ground as he landed on his feet. He looked down at his shirt as he saw a large hole in the center. The wound was regenerating, but his shirt was ruined.

"Oh come on!" He shouted. "Can't I just once wear a nice shirt to a fight without someone ruining it?"

Jimmy looked up to see Kuroka firing a volley of energy at him. Jimmy rushed her and managed to deflect what he could and as soon as he was in range…

WHAM!

Jimmy delivered an earth-shattering punch to Kuroka, but she saw his attack in time and managed to block it with an energy barrier, but barely. She slid back a few feet as she managed to hold her ground.

Jimmy was actually slightly impressed with her. Maybe she would be more of a challenge after all he thought.

Kuroka shouted in rage as a purple cloud appeared at Jimmy's feet. It quickly spread to Jimmy's nose as he took a good whiff of it.

"Poison… really?" Jimmy asked as he clapped his hands. The wind from his strike dispersed the cloud. "I'm immune to that stuff, sweetheart."

As the cloud dispersed, Jimmy noticed a certain lack of cat women in the area. Jimmy looked around to see if he could find Kuroka, but as soon as he turned his head, he felt a sharp pain in his chest.

Jimmy gasped as he looked down. Kuroka's hand had pierced his chest, soaking his shirt in blood.

Kuroka thought she had won, but to her surprise Jimmy had not died from his injury. In a quick motion, He grabbed her arm that had gone through him and broke it with a loud, snap.

Kuroka cried out in pain as blood gushed from her wound. Jimmy then whipped around and backhanded her into another crypt.

Jimmy staggered about, waiting for his wound to heal.

"Ugh… backstabbing me? Dick move, cat woman. Dick move." He said as he clutched his wound.

Kuroka recovered from her fall and stood up as she laughed.

"I'm impressed. I never thought fighting a demon would be this much fun."

Jimmy smirked. "Yeah, not gonna lie… you're the first real challenge I've had in a while."

"Well then allow me to tell you a little fact about myself. Nokomatas are creatures who can control the chi around us as we please in order to accomplish various feats. In other words, I can do this."

She held up her broken arm. A green glow appeared around the wound and in a matter of seconds, it appeared as if it was brand new. The wound had vanished.

"Holy shit!" Jimmy shouted. "Girl, you are full of surprises! If I hadn't killed your friend, I'd probably be trying to plow you right about now."

Kuroka chuckled. "Cute, but I would never go for a lowlife like you."

"Ohoho, good one. Is that supposed to bother me or something?" Jimmy laughed.

"Yes. All that humor in your tone tells me you've never had a woman in your life!"

"Try 326."

Kuroka's eyes widened. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean… most of those were one-night stands, but you get the picture. 327 doesn't sound so bad, does it?"

Kuroka gritted her teeth.

"Jimmy! Stop flirting with that glorified hooker. You're mine, remember?"

Jimmy turned around to see Joanna standing a little ways from him with a calmed angry look on her face. Behind her was Neil holding something in his hand and Xenovia hanging on to him, and the others including Rias and the mage Jimmy knocked out earlier.

"Oh hey, you're back." Jimmy said as he scratched his head, guiltily. "Heh heh… how much did you…"

"Enough." Joanna said as she walked up to Jimmy. "And when we get back, we are gonna have a little talk about boundaries."

"Wait, she's your girlfriend?" Kuroka asked.

"Yeah." Joanna said as she turned to Kuroka. "Why, was that not obvious?"

"Jimmy. Joanna. You can talk about this later." Neil said as he walked towards Kuroka after he handed Xenovia off to Akeno. "Kuroka, I presume?"

Kuroka sneered. "Wait a minute, I know you. You're that presence Loki told me about yesterday. The one who was one of the weakest of the Gremory family."

"Would the weakest be able to accomplish this?" Neil asked as he held up the severed head of Loki, god of mischief.

Kuroka's jaw dropped. "But… but…"

"He may have been powerful, but the right strategy can kill anyone… even a god."

Kuroka's eyes flared as she was about to summon an energy bolt.

"I wouldn't if I were you. Look to your right." Neil said.

Kuroka did just that. Just outside of the church was an entire force of police and rescue workers.

"If you cause any magical disturbance whatsoever, the mortals will see it and you'll be exposed to the world. There won't be a single cravace you'll be able to hide in if you do."

Kuroka balled her fists in absolute rage, but soon subsided. She let out a sigh of frustration.

"Out of courtesy, I'll release you and your remaining associates." Neil said. "But if you or any of your other goons threatens any of us again, I will personally bring Rias your corpse in a body bag. Do we understand each other?"

No answer.

"Do we understand each other?" Neil asked, louder this time.

Kuroka nodded.

"Good." Neil said. "Send your leader my regards."

Neil dropped the head at his feet and walked back to take Xenovia from Akeno.

Kuroka bowed her head, knowing she had been defeated. She looked over to her mage companion and nodded to her. She then walked of into the church and the mage followed.

"Well, all's well that ends well." Jimmy said as he put his arm around Joanna. "Good job, team."

Jimmy turned to walk away when his face was met with the fist of an angry Rias Gremory. Jimmy backed away as he grasped his nose.

"That's for not untying me!"


	10. The Neil Job

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry this one took so long. I've been very busy lately, plus this is kind of a long chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

Xenovia groaned as she regained consciousness. She could feel her body for the first time in a while and she felt like shit. Her body was trembling from the electricity she had felt from earlier along with an ache in her chest. Her head was pounding about as hard as a sledgehammer and it hurt to open her eyes.

After a moment, she felt the strength to finally open her eyes and was surprised to find Neil sitting by her side staring at her with that same blank look he always had.

"Good, you're awake." Neil said. "The doctor said you'd be out for at least a month, but devils are a lot stronger than humans now aren't they?"

"D-doctor?" Xenovia asked. "What are…"

She looked around her room. It was a room from the hospital in town. It had what you'd normally expect from a normal hospital room, but on the table across from Xenovia and Neil sat a small group of bouquets of flowers saying, 'get well' on them.

"After the barrier fell we couldn't fix you with magic or the humans would suspect something." Neil said as Xenovia looked to him. "We took you here and hoped for the best." He pointed to the flowers. "The big one is from Rias. She couldn't stay because of business. I'm sure you understand."

Xenovia sat up with a painful grunt. "How long was I out?"

"Four days." Neil replied. "That hit you took was supposed to be lethal. You got lucky."

"I don't feel lucky." Xenovia replied.

"Hm." Neil replied. Xenovia figured that was his way of laughing.

"So what happened while I was under?"

"Well for starters, we haven't heard a peep from the Chaos Brigade. I guess killing half of their lieutenants and most of their men spooked them."

"What about the others?"

"Well you remember how Rias never knew about how Jimmy was Issei?"

X

A few days ago…

"Oh come on, really?" Jimmy said to his holo-phone.

He had been playing Final Fantasy in the Occult Research Club's lounge for the past hour and a half. He figured he could catch up on the game he started before he came to Japan in the first place. Unfortunately Issei messed up the spell and attack list. What kind of idiot doesn't give their White Mage Cure? He was surprised he even made it to the third boss.

Jimmy struggled to defeat a horde of angry ogres when…

SO… WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?

"Final Fantasy." Jimmy thought to Ddraig. "All my friends thought it was very retro, so I thought I'd give it a shot… and apparently Issei did too. Did you know he chose the bard for his party? The bard! Everyone knows bards suck!"

I SEE. WELL HOPEFULLY YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT DEFEATING THESE OGRES.

"I know, right? And maybe I can kill a few dragons while I… oh, sorry."

IT'S FINE. I WOULDN'T MIND KILLING A FEW DEMONS EITHER.

"Woah! Look at Ddraig with the comebacks." Jimmy thought as he smirked.

BY THE WAY, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT RIAS HAS BEEN STARING AT YOU FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES.

Jimmy looked over at Rias, who was sitting at her desk eyeing Jimmy in a very stern way.

"Meh, she'll get bored anytime now and walk away." Jimmy thought. "Why, you want me to do something?"

IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND.

"Fine." Jimmy thought in annoyed tone.

"You need something?"

"Were you ever going to tell me that you were in Issei's body?" She asked. "Or were you just going to wait until I slept with you?"

"Wait, is that what this is about?" Jimmy asked as he stood up. "Look, I have a girlfriend, you know this. Even if that somehow happened, she'd kill me on the spot."

"So you're admitting you'd let that happen?"

"What?"

"Me sleeping with you!"

"No! I mean you're hot, but…"

Rias stood up and marched over to Jimmy.

"Look, I don't care how powerful you are or what your friends say. You are not welcome here!"

"Oh real mature, Ms. Hypocrite. You're the one who kissed me."

"Yes! I kissed you! Because you let me!"

"I was trying to deactivate your sex drive! Remember when I said, 'you're a good friend?' That was a hint!"

"So what, a simple, 'don't kiss me' is too much for you?"

"No, but maybe you're too dim-witted to take a fricki'n hint!" Jimmy shouted, getting angrier.

"How dare you!" Rias shouted. "I am the king of the house of Gremory and you will treat me with respect!"

Jimmy fixed his eyebrows. "You know what? Fuck you!"

X

"I could hear them arguing from outside. It did not go well." Neil finished.

"Wow." Xenovia said, astonished. "I… didn't think Rias could get that angry."

"I don't blame her. Jimmy at times can come off as a little… headstrong. I'm surprised it hasn't come to blows yet."

"So what about everyone else?"

"Well we met Azazel." Neil said. "He's laid back, but he's a bit of a douche."

Xenovia chuckled. "Yep, that's Azazel."

"Anyway, they're adjusting nicely. Although Joanna still can't get over her new body. She loathes it so much."

"And you?" Xenovia asked.

Neil stood. "On the contrary, Azazel learned about my triumph over Loki and decided to hire me for a personal errand of his. There are a few stray fallen angels among the city who are being protected by a group of humans and he hired me to take them out, or should I say… us."

Neil extended a hand to Xenovia.

"I… what?" Xenovia asked, dumbfounded. "But I just woke up from a coma."

"I have Joanna on speed dial. I call her and she'll be over here in a matter of minutes. What do you say?"

Xenovia looked away and gave the proposition some thought. After some time, she grasped Neil's hand.

X

The Tokyo Temple was one of the most elite hotels in Japan. It was the home of big time events such as the New Year's celebration, The Ides of Spring Dance, and tonight the annual Masquerade Ball. Although this was a time of celebration, Neil was focused on his targets.

The fallen ones were named, Ismir, Darcy, and Rose. All three were supposed to be in attendance with an entire human security team guarding them not to mention hotel security. Fortunately, Neil had a plan to get in and take out each of them without raising alarm. Hopefully Xenovia wouldn't screw things up. He didn't know what to expect from her on a stealth mission considering her main weapon was a claymore the size of himself.

Neil completed dawning his disguise as he contacted Xenovia.

"Xenovia, are you in position?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied. "So what am I supposed to do again?"

Amateur.

"You're supposed to distract Ismir while I take out Darcy and Rose on opposite ends of the hotel. Once they are killed, the poison in the drink that Ismir drinks will take effect, distracting everyone while we make a clean escape."

"And by we giving him the drink, you mean you?"

"Yes."

"Why can't I have a kill?"

"You're new to this. If you tried anything you could compromise this entire mission."

Xenovia sighed. "Fine. What if I drink the poison then?"

"Assuming you're that stupid, I took it into consideration. It's a supplement that affects only beings of holy decent. Not devils. Just keep Ismir distracted and everything will turn out fine. Oh, and if he wants to have sex… just say you're waiting until marriage."

"You know I really didn't have this in mind when I thought of being an assassin."

"You wanted to be on a stealth mission. This is how it's done."

X

Xenovia

It had been ages since Xenovia had to dress up like this. She was wearing a blue-green, silk dress that showed off her features while sporting a black handbag and a green mask.

She didn't feel comfortable trying to seduce someone other than Issei, but she had gotten to know Neil better since their confrontation five days ago, and thought she could trust him.

She walked in through the front door after being checked by security and proceeded to the party. Inside was an entire crowd of people dressed in various dresses, suits, and wearing all sorts of masks. There was even someone wearing the mask from Dishonored.

Neil told Xenovia to walk to the bar and await Ismir, who is supposed to be a notorious womanizer. He couldn't resist someone as beautiful as her.

Xenovia sat down at the bar and sighed.

"What am I doing?" She thought.

After about five minutes, she heard a voice speak to her.

"Excuse me," Ismir said in a very Norse accent. "I couldn't help but notice you all by yourself. Can I buy you a drink?"

Xenovia looked at him and smiled. "Sure."

Ismir turned to the bartender. "Bartender. Two glasses of meijyou daiginjyou."

The bartender poured the drinks. He turned and gave them the glasses.

"Here you are." Neil said as he handed them the drinks. "Enjoy."

Neil walked away as Ismir reached for his glass. In that moment, she didn't know why, but Xenovia took the glass closest to Ismir and took a sip. She knew that that was the one with the poison and she didn't want Neil to get the kill. For once she wanted some of the glory.

Xenovia smiled at Ismir as he looked at her a little confused. Eventually he smiled back at her and drank from the other glass.

X

Neil

As Neil was about to step out of the bar, another bartender grabbed him by the arm.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked. "The party's not over yet."

"I have to check on my car." Neil said. "I left the windows down."

Neil walked out the door and into the night.

He looked around. Nobody seemed to be there safe for one drunk couple, but they were too busy enjoying each other's company. Neil ducked behind a dumpster and took out a bag from behind it. He unzipped it and pulled out a suit from the hotel staff. He quickly slipped it on along with a brown wig, and rejoined the party.

He knew Darcy was among the crowd of guests who were dancing or lounging around. He had to figure out which one he was and fast.

Bingo.

He spotted a large man lounging on a big chair with two human girls on each of his arms. He was dressed in a black, Armani suit and had on a grey mask.

Neil made his way to the man and interrupted his company with the two maidens.

"Excuse me, sir." Neil said. "May I have a moment of your time?"

Darcy laughed. "Of course." He turned to the girls and winked. "I'll be right back." He said as he stood to his full height. Seven feet tall, dwarfing Neil.

"What is it, little man?" he asked.

"There seems to be a problem with your room. Would you mind following me?"

Darcy rolled his eyes. "Oh Christ. Fine. Make it quick."

Neil led Darcy into the elevator and pressed the button with the number, "twenty" over it. The elevator began moving, but as soon as the doors closed, to Neil's surprise, Darcy whipped around and pressed him against the wall. He conjured a blue knife and held it to Neil's neck.

"Did you really think you could fool me, Devil scum?" he asked. Neil could smell the whisky on his breath. "I could sense you from a mile away."

"To be honest, I was hoping you would do something this stupid."

"We fallen ones are known for our bravery and will never back down from a fight." Darcy said, pressing the knife to Neil. He could feel a slight burn on his neck. "Got any more tricks, you bastard?"

"Just this."

Neil conjured a small knife and plunged it into the elevator wall. Darcy went still. Blood trickled down the back of his head as a sword came out of his head and back into the ceiling of the elevator. Neil pushed Darcy off of him and the elevator doors opened. Luckily there was nobody there.

Neil made quick work of Darcy. He dragged him back to his room, covered up the wound, put him lying down on his bed, and placed a "Do not Disturb" sign on his door for good measure.

Neil straightened his wig and made his way to the penthouse suite.

"One down, two to go." He muttered to himself.

He exited the elevator once it reached floor 30. Rose was a fallen angel known for her interest in lust and the finer things in life. As expected, she was quite wealthy.

He made his way to the door of the penthouse suite and put his ear to the door. Nothing.

He conjured a sword that masked his presence just in case as he entered the room.

Inside was a large, elegant room about twenty feet tall with a luxurious living room set. There was a separate area to the kitchen, but it was barely visible.

Neil noticed clothes everywhere scattered about hastily. As he listened closely, he heard creaking and moaning coming from the bedroom. It sounded like one woman and two men.

Perfect.

Neil snuck over to the bedroom and peeked inside to see Rose and two handsome men having intercourse (I'm not going to describe it because . Just make up your own kinky story).

Neil closed the door and readied his sword. With one stroke, he plunged it into the ground. Next he heard stone and steel clanging and silence.

Neil removed his sword and the swords he summoned receded back into the stone.

Neil flipped the sword as he walked away, but stopped. In the living room, stopped mid-walk was a half-naked Brazilian hunk holding a bullwhip, frightened by the teenager dressed as a hotel manager holding a spectral sword.

Both of them stared at each other, waiting for the next move.

X

Neil banished the bloodied sword as he exited the room and hung another "Do not Disturb" sign on the handle.

"Two down." He thought to himself. "And soon to be three."

He checked his watch. The poison should have taken effect by now.

He made his way to the elevator and exited into the lobby floor.

The party was still in full swing with guests dancing and laughing with one another. Neil looked at the bar to find Xenovia… and Ismir.

Neil gritted his teeth as he took out his phone.

Xenovia

"So tell me…" Ismir said to Xenovia. "do you prefer cars or jets?"

"I don't know… both?" Xenovia asked, giving him her biggest fake smile.

Ismir laughed. "Good thing I have both then."

Xenovia chuckled as her phone rang, which was a good thing, because this guy was going to make her vomit. She reached into her purse and answered.

"Um… hello?"

"Why is he not dead yet?" Asked Neil in a harsh tone.

Xenovia felt her heart speed up as she heard him. She knew the consequences, but she wanted this desperately. She turned away from Ismir.

"Well I didn't… quite do what you said." She whispered.

"You what?" Neil asked. "You mean you took his drink, didn't you?"

"Well I didn't want to be rude." Xenovia said, looking back at Ismir, who was looking at her questioningly.

"Who is that, my dear?" He asked.

Xenovia looked at him and blurted the first thing that came to her mind.

"My boyfriend."

"What?!" Neil shouted into the phone.

Ismir's eyes widened. "Oh. Well I do apologize." He stood up and walked away. "Give him my regards." He said as he mingled into the party.

Xenovia knew she screwed up big time. She turned back to the phone.

"Neil, I'll fix this, I swear." No response. "Hello? Hello?"

Just then, she felt a hand pull her away from the bar. Neil opened the door to the padio, where no guests currently were and shoved Xenovia out the door and onto the terrace. Neil closed the door.

"Are you completely OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" He shouted.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Xenovia said. "I didn't know what I was thinking."

"You're damn right you weren't. That was twenty thousand dollars you just pissed away, and for what? So you would have the glory?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Xenovia said, sounding defensive. "I just… wanted to be more useful is all."

"Xenovia, every assassin has a part to play, but you can't just go around killing people. What were you even going to do? Whip out Durandal and cut his head off in front of hundreds of people?"

"I… um…" Xenovia stuttered.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Hey, I can be subtle too, you know. Just because I have a god damned claymore doesn't mean I'm a brute." Xenovia looked at Neil and noticed him looking back into the party room.

"Hey. Are you listenin…"

And just like that… Neil kissed her.

Xenovia's eyes shot open at the feeling. That's when her instincts kicked in. She shoved Neil away and slapped him.

"What the hell's your problem?" She shouted.

Neil rubbed his cheek and looked at Xenovia as he walked away.

"One more try." He said.

Xenovia was tempted to run after him, but as soon as she took one step, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, is he giving you trouble?" Came the voice of Ismir.

Xenovia turned around and looked at him.

"I… uh…"

That's when she remembered Neil's words. This is probably what he meant.

"Oh, no. Sorry, that was my boyfr… my ex boyfriend."

Ismir frowned. "I am so sorry."

Xenovia sighed. "Oh… it's fine. He was a jerk anyway."

Ismir put his arm around Xenovia. "Come, let me buy you a drink. Maybe that'll calm your nerves."

"Okay." She said as she exhaled.

Bullet dodged.

X

Neil

"Why did I ever let her tag along?" Neil thought as he mixed the poison with Ismir's drink. "When it comes to something like this, she's useless. So why did I invite her to begin with?"

Neil began to stir the drink. "Well… I guess she's not that bad. She's got a decent form, her hair's the right length… as nice as it is. She has such a sweet voice…"

Neil stopped stirring as he realized what he was doing.

"What was that about?" he thought. Neil began walking toward Ismir and Xenovia. "Why am I like this all of a sudden? Maybe it's a side effect of my new body."

Neil reached a now talking Ismir and Xenovia as he handed them their drinks.

"Here you are, enjoy." He said.

Izmir smiled as he took the drink.

"Thank you very much… assassin."

Neil noticed Xenovia as she froze in fear.

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice you two?" Izmir asked.

"Honestly, we were going to kill you earlier." Neil said. "Technical difficulties."

Izmir smirked. "And what of my associates?"

Neil raised an eyebrow. Izmir frowned and set the drink down.

"I see." He said. "I'm the last then."

"And you know what I'm about to do next then?" Neil asked.

Ismir smirked. "Yes."

In the blink of an eye, everything happened at once. Ismir spread his wings as they shot out of his suit, Neil summoned one of his swords and jumped on top of the counter, at least twenty men from the party stopped what they were doing and drew their guns, pointing them at Neil, and Ismir grabbed Xenovia and pointed a light sword at her throat.

Neil pointed his sword at Ismir as the rest of the crowd noticed what was happening and bolted for the exit. Once the last person was out, there was dead silence. Neil could hear nothing but the breathing of Ismir's men and the beat of his own heart; a feeling that felt familiar, but one he had never experienced in his lifetime.

Ismir chuckled. "You can not win, assassin. My men and I are highly trained in our field and outnumber you. You have no chance."

"I beg to differ, Ismir." Neil said. "Release the girl, or I will kill everyone."

Ismir laughed. "You can't be serious. I hold all the cards. You can't possibly win."

Neil scowled. "Your funeral."

A sword extended from Neil's other hand and hit the ground as numerous others shot out from the ground, cutting the humans' guns in half and piercing Ismir's palm, making him let go of the light sword and giving Xenovia the opportunity to shove him off and summon Durandal.

Ismir stared at Neil in amazement. "This isn't over!" He shouted as he ran off.

"Oh no you don't!" Xenovia shouted as she ran after him.

"No! Wait!" Neil called out as one of the guards tried to grab one of his legs. Neil dodged his attack and swung his sword, cleaving his head in half. Neil jumped to the ground and stared down his attackers.

X

Xenovia

Ismir barged his way through the glass doors at the end of the hallway as Xenovia swung her sword, making a shockwave of pure light that obliterated the hall and shattered the glass. Ismir managed to dodge the attack and fly to the other side of the pool area, where they had exited into.

The pool was a large one for a hotel, stretching over fifty feet and shined, making the area glow just enough for Xenovia to see Ismir and their surroundings. There was also a bar on either side along with chairs and a few umbrellas.

Ismir conjured two light swords in his hands. "Oh I recognize you now. You're that bitch who abandoned your traditions for that perverted dragon freak."

"He's not a freak!" Xenovia shouted, her blood boiling from that comment. "And I didn't abandon my traditions. I had my reasons for leaving."

"So be it." Ismir said as he leapt into the air and charged toward Xenovia. "Die, traitor!"

Xenovia spread her wings and charged toward Ismir and their weapons collided, causing a shockwave that caused the water underneath them to part.

X

Neil

As Xenovia left, the bodyguards pulled out small rods from their jackets and clicked a button. Suddenly beams of light shined out of them like swords.

Neil raised an eyebrow. "Hm. Exorcists."

The bodyguards charged him. Neil conjured a second sword and cleaved one of them in half as he drove his other sword through the second man who decided to rush him.

Two more men swung at him, but Neil jumped over the swords and avoided the attack with ease. Another man swung at him, but Neil parried the attack and drove his sword through the man's chest. He pulled out, elbowing another man in his gut, and then spun around to decapitate him.

Just then five of the bodyguards rushed Neil at once. Neil parried their attacks with ease as he delivered a killing blow to each of them.

Neil scraped his sword on the ground, tauntingly as the last ten bodyguards looked upon him in fear. Neil knew that look. They had never had to deal with someone of this caliber… until now. The look a professional assassin was all too familiar with.

Suddenly, Neil heard a loud explosion outside. Immediately he knew it was Xenovia. Feeling the urge to help his friend, he rose his sword.

"Time to end this." He said as he stuck his sword into the ground. As he did, a torrent of swords erupted from the ground, dicing the bodyguards who were remaining. Neil removed the sword and the swords retreated into the ground. He could hear the moans of the fallen bodyguards as he ran off toward the pool. He hoped he was not too late.

X

Xenovia

Xenovia groaned as she stood. She wasn't hurt badly, but that last blast knocked the wind out of her. She readied her sword as Ismir flew back into the air.

"I must say, I am impressed." He said as he spread his three pairs of wings. "I never knew a knight would have such destructive energy."

"There's a lot you don't know about me." Xenovia said. "Let's see if you can handle this."

Xenovia spread her wings and flew into the air, raising Durandal. She swung at Ismir, who conjured two light swords to block the incoming blast, creating another shockwave as the blades collided.

As the blades clashed, Xenovia held out her left hand and summoned a bright portal. She gripped the handle of her old sword, the sword of destruction (I have no idea what the actual name is. Help me?) and swung it at Ismir, who could only watch as she swung upward, slicing off three of Ismir's six wings.

Ismir screamed in agony as he fell into the pool below. Xenovia smirked in victory as she landed at the edge of the pool closest to Ismir.

Before long, Ismir emerged from the pool, his blood now staining the water. He gripped onto the edge where Xenovia was, gasping for air. He looked up at Xenovia as she grabbed him by his coat and flung him into the bar stand nearby, making it collapse.

Xenovia walked toward Ismir, crossing both swords like scissors as she pointed them at him. Ismir stood, gripping two of his wing stubs, and looked at Xenovia with a mixture of fear and anger.

"Unbelievable." Ismir cried out. "They said a bitch would always be my undoing, I just didn't believe them."

Xenovia scowled. "Well this 'bitch' is about to prove you right."

Xenovia grunted as she swung the blades, making a massive energy wave, decimating the entire east wing of the pool area. When the smoke cleared, all that remained was rubble, some iron from the fence, and Ismir's tattered jacket, blowing in the wind.

Xenovia exhaled as she lowered her swords. Just then, she heard clapping from the hotel entrance. She spun around to see Neil clapping as if he was spectating the whole thing.

"Impressive." He said as he walked toward her. "Very clumsy and full of holes… but impressive nonetheless. Not every devil can win against a fallen one that powerful."

Xenovia sighed. "You could have helped, you know."

"But then you wouldn't have gotten what you wanted." Neil replied. "It looks like you got your kill after all."

Xenovia's eyes widened. She didn't know what to say after Neil's kindness. She smiled. "Thank you." She said.

"By the way, where did you get that Holy Sword?" Neil asked, pointing to Xenovia's old sword.

"Oh, it's my old sword, the sword of destruction."

"But I gave you Kiba's sword to use."

"Yeah, so?"

"So why didn't you tell me about this one? Why didn't you use this against Loki, or me for that matter?"

"Well I…" Xenovia began, but she stuttered as she searched for an answer. "Huh… why didn't I use it?"

X

Xenovia finished counting her million yen as her and Neil watched the rescue teams clean up the Tokyo Temple from the rooftop of the building across from it.

"So tell me, how did you like your first job?" Neil asked.

"It was actually kind of fun." Xenovia said. "I also kinda liked how tricked that guy for a second."

"But he knew you were a devil."

Xenovia's smile faded. "Y-yeah…"

"To be fair, I made that mistake too. People where I come from don't usually have that ability, and I don't know why Azazel didn't mention that before, but in the end we got paid and we got away."

Xenovia smiled. "Hey, Neil?"

"Hm?"

"You think maybe… we could do this again sometime?"

Neil looked at Xenovia as if she said something she shouldn't have.

"R-really?"

"Yeah. I know I screwed up, but…"

"Sure."

Xenovia's eyes widened. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Of course." Neil said. "You're gonna need more training and you need to listen to me more, but other than that, I think you could make a great hit man."

Neil winked at her.

Xenovia chuckled as she looked back at the hotel.

"So tell me, what are you gonna do with your half?" She asked.

"Well I'm gonna give a hundred thousand to Jimmy, Joanna, and Kyle. God knows they'll need it."

"And the other seven hundred thousand?"

"I've got a few ideas."

X

Neil

The doors opened as Neil walked in.

"Hi, welcome to Taco Hut." The Clerk said. "What can I get for ya?"

Neil slammed the stack of money onto the counter.

"Everything!"


End file.
